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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22798117">Hey hey hey can you fix...</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakeuForku/pseuds/FakeuForku'>FakeuForku</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>ASMR?, ATEEZ lives in the next dorm over, Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack, Everyone Needs A Hug, Kidnapping, M/M, Mild Language, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, RA chan, Swearing, Where’s Waldo: Hyunjin edition, Wires, a bunch of misspelled words, blenders are scary, changbin has a stroke, everyones bad at most things tech, got7 and day6 make an appearance, hyunjin gets a virus, if you squint there's plot, its kinda gross, jisung is actually a sensitive bean, kind of, lots of tech stuff, lots of wires, minho explains why he likes porn, minho likes weird porn, offensive language, seungmin really wants a server room of his own, seungmin tech god, this went from having some structure to none, twice is mentioned like once, warning - bad puns</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 18:35:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,267</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22798117</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakeuForku/pseuds/FakeuForku</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Crack where everyone is bad at electronics sans Seungmin and sometimes Chan.</p><p>Or<br/>When Minho gets a strange virus on Hyunjin’s laptop, things get messy fast.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan/Kim Woojin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, minor changbin/felix - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Do you Do Garbage Disposals?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Felix - oncrack #1</p><p>Seungmin - tech GOD</p><p>Changbin - beanie</p><p>Jisung - on crack #2</p><p>Chan - mother</p><p>Woojin - but father</p><p>Jeongin - fav sun</p><p>Hyunjin - not so fav sun</p><p>Minho - hohoOH</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>District Of No Return: </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Oncrack #1: help my laptop just blue screened</p><p> </p><p>Mother: :(</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: )):</p><p> </p><p>But father: :(((</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: oh fuck</p><p> </p><p>Beanie: </p><p>🤡⠀⠀⠀ ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: Clown Song (Feat: You) </p><p>───────────⚪────── </p><p>◄◄⠀▐▐ ⠀►►</p><p>50:𝟷𝟾 / 71:𝟻𝟼 ⠀ ───○ </p><p>🔊⠀ ᴴᴰ ⚙</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: tf</p><p> </p><p>Oncrack #1: why do i even bother</p><p>this was my cry for help</p><p>im</p><p>abandoned</p><p>and all i got</p><p> </p><p>On crack #2: bro</p><p>i have no idea how to fix blue laptops</p><p>that was me trying to be sympathetic</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: u failed</p><p> </p><p>On crack #2: ur a fail</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: UR MOMS A FAIL</p><p> </p><p>Beanie: ouch bro</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: too far bro</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: bro</p><p> </p><p>On crack #2: yes bro</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: BRO</p><p> </p><p>Oncrack #1: my laptops still dead</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: ill come over and look at it after class</p><p> </p><p>Oncrack #1: this is y ur my favourite</p><p> </p><p>But father: wow</p><p> </p><p>Mother: I felt that from her e</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>=======================</p><p>
  <strong>District Of No Return: </strong><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>On crack #2: listen here, u KEYCHAIN</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: only a fucking KEYCHAIN</p><p> </p><p>On crack #2: it takes one to know one KEYCHAIN</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: YEAH U KEYCHAIN</p><p> </p><p>On crack #2: foRK OFF UR THE KEYCHAIN HERE</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: wat</p><p> </p><p>Oncrack #1: hello?</p><p> </p><p>Mother: anyone wanna bother explaining</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: So</p><p>have u even seen dream knight?</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: waz dat</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: that cheesy got7 drama where yugi looks like he has a fucking curtain on his head and bambam is an actual baby</p><p>The opening sequence is just music they ripped from those movie theatre brand commercials</p><p>uhhh jb is a bad cliche, jinyoung is an awful villan, mark looks like he stuck his fingers in an eletrical socket all the time, and jacksons annoying everyone with hsi bad puns and attempted optimism</p><p>youngjae had two lines</p><p>but damn he cute</p><p> </p><p>On crack #1: oooooooo</p><p>THAT DREAM KNIGHT</p><p>yee i know</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: so got7 is either keychain doll / ex-keychain doll</p><p>the debate is over whos a keychain</p><p> </p><p>No so fav sun: yeah, hear that</p><p>UR A KEYCHAIN</p><p> </p><p>On crack #2:  FUCK OFF KEYCHAIN</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: ONLY OF U GO AWAY FIRST U FUCKING KEYCHAIN</p><p> </p><p>Beanie: OH MY GOD SHUT UP UR BOTH KEYCHAINS AND IM YOUR GODDAMN OWNER</p><p>NOW DO UR KEYCHAIN THING AND FUCK OFF</p><p> </p><p>On crack #2: ...</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: ...</p><p> </p><p>On crack #2: well then</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: hey keychain</p><p> </p><p>On crack #2: what u keychain</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: truse and kill our owner?</p><p>then well be FREE</p><p> </p><p>On crack #2: sounds like a plan</p><p> </p><p>But father: why is hyunjin and jising strangling changbin??</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
======================<br/>
<br/>
<strong>District Of No Return: </strong></p><p> </p><p>On crack #2: bro</p><p>BRO</p><p>B R O</p><p>guess what i had the misfortune to witnessssssss</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: um?</p><p>hyunjin walking up in the morning?</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: pfffffffffffffffftttttt</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: RUDE</p><p>I AM A NARUAL</p><p> </p><p>Beanie: narual</p><p> </p><p>On crack #2: I WITNESSED MOM AND DAD BEING GAY</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: dude</p><p>thats gay</p><p> </p><p>Beanie: being gay is the gayest thing u can do</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: gross</p><p> </p><p>but father: yes, thank you for that changbin</p><p> </p><p>Mother: stop slut shaming your parents</p><p> </p><p>But father: If e have to listen to our children at three am they can deal with us occasionally kissing in the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>Oncrack #1: Woah woah woah</p><p>Whos doing stuff at 3 AM?</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: Yikes</p><p>I'm suddenly glad i can sleep through a fire alarm</p><p> </p><p>But father: they know who they are</p><p>But they should keep in mind</p><p> </p><p>Mother: so do we</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: i don't think i've ever been scared of Chan b4</p><p>But there's a first time for everythign</p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Felix -&gt; Sungmin</strong>
</p><p>hey kiddo u still having computer issues?</p><p> </p><p>seungminnieeeeeeeee</p><p>halp plz</p><p> </p><p>im stuck in lecture for a bit, but i can meet u at the library when its over</p><p> </p><p>yeeeyeeyeyeyeyeye</p><p>wat time?</p><p> </p><p>40 minutes</p><p> </p><p>i cna do dat</p><p> </p><p>whats wrong with it this time?</p><p>other than its a piece of garbage that deserves to be burned</p><p> </p><p>hey</p><p>fix my bb</p><p>dont insult her</p><p>shes a sensitive soul</p><p> </p><p>.-.</p><p> </p><p>uhhhh</p><p>every time i shut the lid it shuts down and kills all my programs</p><p>and it freezes a bunch</p><p>oh! and my headphone jack dosent work</p><p>and it loud</p><p> </p><p>loud?</p><p> </p><p>the woowoo's</p><p>uhhhh</p><p>FANS</p><p>Those things</p><p>My laptop has loud fans</p><p>She’s popular </p><p>they sound like theyre trying to acheive liftoff</p><p> </p><p>-.-</p><p>when was the last time you restarted? or updated? anything</p><p>like your computer, or its drivers</p><p> </p><p>its a computer, not a car</p><p>i use it, I dont drive it</p><p> </p><p>why doi even</p><p>restart</p><p>update</p><p>google computer drivers and how to update them</p><p>and the ill see what wrong with it when i get out</p><p> </p><p>&lt;333333333333333</p><p>ur the best seungminnie</p><p> </p><p>yeah yeah</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Jisung -&gt; Seungmin</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>hey seungmin can u help with a tech issue?</p><p> </p><p>maybe</p><p>what kind of tech</p><p> </p><p>so my blender made a weird sound the other morning</p><p> </p><p>sorry i major in computers not blenders k thanks bye</p><p> </p><p>wait seungie#2 nooooo</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Hyunjin -&gt; Seungmin</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Hey seung u fix speakers?¿?¿?</p><p> </p><p>Yeah</p><p>For a price</p><p> </p><p>I'm in coolegg’</p><p> </p><p>That price just went up</p><p> </p><p>WAIT NO PLZ PITTY ME AND MY NONEXITANT ASS I'M  A BROKE BOY</p><p> </p><p>Ugh</p><p>What's wrong with it?</p><p> </p><p>It no play</p><p> </p><p>And?</p><p> </p><p>Wait whatddy mean AND</p><p>It doesn't make the boom boom or noot noot noise</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin, speakers shouldnt go noot noot in the first place</p><p>Thats a pingu</p><p>Speaker</p><p>
  
</p><p>Pingu</p><p>
  
</p><p>😢😢😢😢</p><p>😭😭😭😭😭😭</p><p>😖😖😖😖😖😖😖</p><p>💔</p><p> </p><p>Fuck</p><p>Fine</p><p>Ill look at it and i'm gonna charge you if ti takes longer than two hours to fix</p><p> </p><p>Ily bro &lt;3</p><p>(Draft)</p><p>[that bro pained me]</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> Changbin -&gt; Seungmin</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Hey seungmin</p><p>my most favourite human</p><p> </p><p>What broke now?</p><p> </p><p>Wow</p><p>There i was</p><p>Ready to spend a nice afternoon with a friend i haven't seen in 80000000000000001 years</p><p>Only to be rejected</p><p>Turned away</p><p>Scoffed at</p><p>Looked down upon</p><p> </p><p>I'm literally taller than you?</p><p> </p><p>What kind of person do you take me for?</p><p>Whauld i use you like that</p><p> </p><p>Yes</p><p> </p><p>Would i really treat you like just a service?</p><p> </p><p>You say it like you haven't</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p>Fuck</p><p>Fair point</p><p>But seriously</p><p>Jisung wanted to go shopping and he didn't wanna go alone</p><p> </p><p>And he didn't ask me himself because?</p><p> </p><p>He's busy being beat up by minho</p><p>And possibley woo join</p><p> </p><p>Why does woojin’s name autocorrect in your phoen?</p><p> </p><p>Listen</p><p>A little Rascal Who Cant Be Named BEcause He Possesses Blackmail made it so ch an corrected to mama and woo jin to papi</p><p>I'm trying my best but it won't go away</p><p> </p><p>Ah</p><p>The real reason you messaged me reveals itself</p><p>Buy me lunch and ill look at it</p><p> </p><p>Yay thank u minminie</p><p> </p><p>Gross</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Kim Jihun(kimchi) -&gt; Seungmin</strong>
</p><p>Do u do grbage disposials?</p><p> </p><p>Not at 4 am</p><p>Or ever for that matter</p><p>Thats an RA thing</p><p>Text Chan</p><p><br/>
<br/>
============</p><p>
  <strong>District Of No Return: </strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Oncrack #1: AJSHDAKJDHAKJSDHAD</p><p>HELP</p><p>MY VCREDITCARD</p><p>IT GOT COMPRIMISED</p><p>I'M 1200 IN DEBT</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: Could be worse</p><p> </p><p>Oncrack #1: NO IT COULDNT BE</p><p>1200 IS MY CARDS MAX</p><p>SEUNGMIN HELP</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: WTF HOW DOES NO ONE HERE KNOW HOW TO USE A CREDIT CARD OR CALL A CREDIT COMPANY</p><p> </p><p>Oncrack #1: WHAT TO FRACK WOULD I SAY</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: ‘Hi i'm actually stupid and my card information got stolen. I need to refute transactions and freeze my credit account and cancel my card’</p><p> </p><p>Beanie: Actually thats pretty good advice</p><p> </p><p>Mother: Just do eberything in cash</p><p>Information theft solved</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: Just don't have an indednity</p><p> </p><p>Oncrack #1: Hi i'm  ____</p><p>I used to be felix, ut my idenddity was stolen</p><p>So now i'm ____</p><p> </p><p>Beanie: Idenddity</p><p> </p><p>Oncrack #1: Wow</p><p>Calling me out like that</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: Get a room</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: 👀</p><p> </p><p>Oncrack #1: U have no room to say that here kiddo</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: Who are u calling <em> kiddo </em></p><p>
  <em> Fetus </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Oncrack #1: Boomer</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: Zoomer</p><p> </p><p>On crack #2: Ex forking cuse me</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: Zoomer</p><p>Gen-z boomer</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: There is a reason why i mute that chat and that last message encompased the exact reason why</p><p> </p><p>On crack #2: FELIX REALLY UP IN HERE DEADASS </p><p>“Hi i'm dumb  and my card information got stolen”</p><p>BROOOOOOOOOOOO</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Hyunjin -&gt; Seungmin</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Um</p><p>Seungie?</p><p> </p><p>Wat izzit kiddo?</p><p> </p><p>Bro i'm a whole ass six months older than u </p><p>Respekt ur elders</p><p> </p><p>K boomer</p><p> </p><p>Listennnnnn</p><p>So i have a computer thing</p><p> </p><p>Whad u do this time</p><p>WHEN WILL U LEARN</p><p> </p><p>I DIDN T SO IT THIS TIME I SWAR</p><p>IT WAS MINHO HYUNG</p><p>AND HIS WEIRD PORN</p><p> </p><p>Don't wanna know</p><p>Stop right there</p><p>Whts the comptr isue?</p><p> </p><p>I think he gave me a virus?</p><p>Can u check it out?</p><p>I'm scared ill delete something important again</p><p> </p><p>K BUT HOW THE FUCK DID U DUMBASS MANAGE TO DELETE SYSTEM32</p><p> </p><p>I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS IMPORTANT</p><p> </p><p>BRO IT LITERALLY RUNS ALL UR SHIT</p><p> </p><p>I CAN'T COMPUTER</p><p>Plus jising told me to</p><p> </p><p>And when has listening to jisung ever beena good idea?</p><p> </p><p>Fuck u rite</p><p>But can u help</p><p>Plz</p><p>Ill water ur cat and feed ur cactus</p><p> </p><p>I have no furry creature from hell and i have a bamboo plant</p><p>I don't trust you with peter</p><p>I think illhold this favour over your head for a ehile</p><p>When i think of some useful service you can complete for me ill let you know</p><p> </p><p>Oof i don't like the sound of that</p><p> </p><p>Oh?</p><p> </p><p>Ill take it</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Crack Buddies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Felix - oncrack #1 / Freckled Failure / Dumpster fire</p><p>Seungmin - Tech GOD</p><p>Changbin - Beanie / Trash bin / Recycle bin</p><p>Jisung - On crack #2 / Die hyunjin</p><p>Chan - mother</p><p>Woojin - but father</p><p>Jeongin - fav sun</p><p>Hyunjin - not so fav sun / Dead meat</p><p>Minho - hohoOH</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chan -&gt; Seungmin</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Hey hyung</p><p>Can i ask about something</p><p> </p><p>Seungie you can ask almost anything</p><p>Anytime</p><p>Especially with how many times i've asked for you to rememeber my password</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>I'm good with computers</p><p>But not people</p><p>I guess i just wanna know if i'm reading something wrong</p><p> </p><p>Hmmm</p><p>What's the sitch?</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly gone like my will to ask you advice</p><p> </p><p>No respeckt</p><p> </p><p>Seriously tho, can i complain to you at 2 am about how much i hate people?</p><p> </p><p>I</p><p>I thought you had hyunjin for that</p><p> </p><p>Uh</p><p>Fuck</p><p>Hyunjiin might be the person i'm complaining about?</p><p> </p><p>Ahhh</p><p>Got it 😶</p><p>I'm always here for u sungie</p><p>🧡💕</p><p> </p><p>Gay</p><p>But thx mum</p><p> </p><p>ONE TIME</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><br/>=================</p><p>
  <b>District Of No Return: </b>
</p><p> </p><p>But father: hey lix u ever fix ur bank account?</p><p> </p><p>Oncrack #1: ha</p><p>Ha</p><p>AHAHAHAHA</p><p>[Felix changed their nickname to Freckled Failure]</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: i guess that explains it</p><p> </p><p>But father: FELIX NO</p><p> </p><p>Freckled Failure: oh the bank thing i got sorted</p><p>I only made a complete FOOL OF MY SELF</p><p>I HOPE RAJ FORGETS ME AND MY SERVICE CALL</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: hyung wat did u </p><p>DO</p><p> </p><p>Freckled Failure: come close children</p><p>Huddle around the camp fire to listent ot the sad sad tales</p><p>Of Felix the Failed</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: and he wonders why we signed him up for the drama club</p><p> </p><p>Freckled Failure: there i was</p><p>A FOOL</p><p> </p><p>Beanie: u already said that part</p><p> </p><p>Freckled Failure: SILENCE MISBELEIVER</p><p>Like the fool I was</p><p> </p><p>Mother: aren't u in class yongbok</p><p> </p><p>Freckled Failure: basically i took seungmins advice and the teller guy straight up laughed at me and then proceeded to tell me how to fix my life in a really thick accent so i misheard a bunch of things and had to ask him to repeat stuff like 80 times no i'm not texting in clas mom k bywwe</p><p> </p><p>Beanie: well that was eventful</p><p> </p><p>On crack #2: BRO</p><p>FELIX</p><p>CRACK BRO</p><p>How could u</p><p>I can't be 2 without 1</p><p> </p><p>Not so fav sun: yeah u can</p><p>Ull just be a lil retarted</p><p> </p><p>[Jisung changed their nickname to Die hyunjin]</p><p>Not so fav sun: well i never</p><p> </p><p>[Changbin changed Hyunjin’s nickname to Dead meat]</p><p> </p><p>[Hyunjin changed Changbin’s nickname to Trash bin]</p><p> </p><p>Trash bin: ha ha ha</p><p>So original</p><p>Like i haven't heard this one before</p><p>👏👏👏</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: mmmmm</p><p>I feel ur more of a </p><p> </p><p>[Jisung changed Changbin’s nickname to Recycle bin]</p><p> </p><p>Recycle bin: geee thanks</p><p>I feel so much better</p><p> </p><p>[Felix changed their nickname to Dumpster fire]</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: we’ll be trash together hyung</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: ahhhh, true love</p><p> </p><p>Mother: 😒</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: GOTTA BLAST</p><p>
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</p><p>
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  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Hyunjin -&gt; Seungmin</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Yo yo </p><p>Jinnie</p><p> </p><p>U summoned jinnie the gr8</p><p> </p><p>😑</p><p>WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO UR LAPTOP</p><p> </p><p>What doth thee mean?</p><p> </p><p>This virus</p><p>Its actual ass</p><p>Like</p><p>Its not wanting to delete itself</p><p>Its replicating faster than i want it to </p><p>And inserting null character in itself when i want it to die</p><p>And it may be corrupting our files</p><p>As we speak</p><p> </p><p>Uhhh</p><p>In stupid?</p><p>WAIT NO FUCK MY FINAL IS ON THERE</p><p> </p><p>Let me guess u didn't back it up like I tell u to do with everything</p><p> </p><p>NO FUCK I DIDN'T I'M SORRY PLZ SAVE HERRRRRRRRR</p><p>SAVE ME SAVE ME</p><p>I NEED UR WUV B5 I FALL</p><p>FALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL</p><p>I swear ill bakc up everything from this point on</p><p>As son as i get my fina;</p><p>I don't care about my memes</p><p>They can die</p><p>My final</p><p>I will cry</p><p>ugly cry</p><p>a han river of tears</p><p>well</p><p>half tears half snot</p><p> </p><p>Idk jin</p><p>I'm trying to pull it off or like email it to myself</p><p>But it just corrupted my flash drive via IO error and my email won't let me download the attachment saying its malicious</p><p>Ill try to stick it in cloud space</p><p>But its not looking too hot</p><p> </p><p>All i got out of that was no</p><p> </p><p>Listen</p><p>Its a no rn</p><p>But i'm trying</p><p>I would say prepare for the worst tho and plan on redoing it</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>District Of No Return:</strong>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Dead meat: Minho hyung felix</p><p>We may have an emergency</p><p>@<strong>hohoOH</strong> @<strong>Dumpster fire</strong></p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: oh?</p><p>I swear f this relates to our dance final</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: wait what's happening</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: i personally blame minho </p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: are u gonna tell me what ur blaming me for?</p><p>Or?</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: so remember that strange site u went to to show us that weird porn stuff</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: wtf</p><p> </p><p>But father: disappointed but not supprised </p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: that killed my laptop with something</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: first off, u asked</p><p>Second - just have eungmin look at it</p><p>Tech god can do no wrong</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: he is</p><p>He says its basically a lost cause</p><p>But he's working on it</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: OH FUCK</p><p>@<strong>tech GOD</strong></p><p>Status?</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: BOI THAT FINALS DUE IN THREE DAYS</p><p>WE HAVE LIKE NEGITIVE TME TO RECREATE IT</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee</p><p>I hate whoeber made this</p><p>Recovery is leaning on hard no and soft maybe</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: fuk</p><p> </p><p>Mother: hey hey hey</p><p>No swearing in my buddist gmod server</p><p>It throws off my chi</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: hyung</p><p>U and ur chi can kindly fuck off</p><p>We have an actual problem</p><p>But father: what was ur dance final?</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: we choreographed a three minute song chanie seungie and binnie wrote and filmed it</p><p>But the song, the coreo notes, THE RECORDING OF US DANCING IT</p><p>Was all on huynjins computer</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: i guess were kinda all at fault for not thinking to back it up elseware</p><p> </p><p>But father: how much do you need t redo</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: we need to rerecord the dance, uhhhh i'm trying to write out the notes rn</p><p>I remember 90% of the coreo</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: i don't think we have a copy of the song jiji gave me</p><p> </p><p>Mother: ill chack rn if i have a copy</p><p>I know for a fact jisung saves all his crations in like 12 different places</p><p>Even his trash beats</p><p>@<strong>Die hyunjin</strong></p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: didn't this happen to sung once?</p><p>All his stuff died bc his computer quit on him?</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: my laptop just died i needed a new battery</p><p>And while some of my pregress dissappeared i still had my files</p><p>I'm scared after hearing what happend to you guyz</p><p>So i save everything</p><p>And fuck u chan hyung</p><p>Everyting i make is fire</p><p> </p><p>Recycle bin: debateable</p><p>And jinnie i'm checking a copy of the song rn</p><p>What's it called?</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: voices?</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjn: HAHA YES I do have that one backed up</p><p>ima at the studio rn if u wanna come get it</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: ahhh my prince in shining hoodies</p><p>How can i ever repay thee</p><p> </p><p>techGOD: BACK UR SHIT UP</p><p>And this is a losing battle</p><p>Jin i think ur whole laptop is fried</p><p>Like i cant save ur motherboard</p><p>I'm pretty sure if i were to trade machines ud just kill that pc as well</p><p>But i haven't tried that yet</p><p>Is the librbary still open?</p><p>@<strong>fav sun</strong></p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: yee yee</p><p>Shes open till like 4 am</p><p>well</p><p>Not officially</p><p>But i have Privileges </p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: thank thank thank innie</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: if we pull two all nighters we may be able to recreate what we did</p><p>We just have to turn it in</p><p>We don't have to preform it</p><p>daNCE HOES</p><p>ASSEMBLE</p><p> </p><p>Dumster fire: imma eat then head over</p><p>Want me to pick up a chance of clothes fer u boiz?</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: yis plx</p><p>And bring food</p><p>And water bottles</p><p>And g fule</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: no</p><p>no g fule</p><p>That stuff is trash for you</p><p>I will allow coffee tho</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: weh</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: aye aye captain!</p><p><br/><br/>=================</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>District Of No Return: </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: hey for those who are free can u join innie and i at the library</p><p>And bring food</p><p>I know at least one of you owes me</p><p>🤨</p><p> </p><p>But father: ill swing by the studio and see what the hot sauce gang is doing</p><p>And yes ill bring chicken</p><p> </p><p>techGOD: love u hyunggggg</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: oooOoOoO</p><p>Hyung can u get me a fanta?</p><p>And those snack chips i like?</p><p>plz</p><p> </p><p>But father: of course innie</p><p> </p><p>Recycle bin: this. is. Favouritism</p><p>At its peak</p><p>I'm forcing chan and ji to save everything and well meet u there</p><p>No need to come all the way over here hyung</p><p> </p><p>But father: its onyl on the other side of campus</p><p>Plus the studio is close to the chicken place</p><p>One of u can run a order to the dance crew and the idiot</p><p> </p><p>Recycle bin: sounds like plan</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>back ur stuff up kiddos<br/>dont be a hyunjin</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Blacklisting all the porn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Felix - Dumpster fire<br/>Seungmin - tech GOD<br/>Changbin - Recycle bin<br/>Jisung - Die hyunjin<br/>Chan - mother<br/>Woojin - but father<br/>Jeongin - fav sun<br/>Hyunjin - Dead meat<br/>Minho - hohoOH</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘You don't think well get into trouble for staying here this late, right?’ Seungmin asked, not taking his eyes off the library monitor. </p><p> </p><p>‘Nah, don't worry about it’, Jeongin said. ‘The librarian said it's ok for me to stay late as long as I lock up in the end. She loves me.’</p><p> </p><p>‘What's not to love. You’re just so cute I think I could squeeeeeesh you all day,’ Changbin pinched Jeongn’s cheeks, the younger grimaced at the feel of oily fingers coming into contact with his face.</p><p> </p><p>‘Get off me, you’re disgusting.’</p><p> </p><p>‘But Innie, I love youuuuuuuuuuu.’</p><p> </p><p>’I love you too hyung, but only when you’re not touching my face with your chicken hands.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Jeongin that was disgusting, never say those words ever again.’ Seungmin called from behind the school computer, Jisung fell off his spinning chair laughing. </p><p> </p><p>‘Any progress Minnie?’ Chan asked, half strangling himself with his headphones. Seungmin wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not, but if it was he could totally relate. </p><p> </p><p>‘Ugh. Yes and no.’ Seungmin sighed. </p><p> </p><p>Chan frowned. ‘What’s that mean.’</p><p> </p><p>‘I don’t really wanna bore you with boring nerd stuff. Plus it looks like your doing something important anyway.’</p><p> </p><p>Chan shut his laptop. ‘Seungmin. Remember what I said. We’re all here for you, even if we’re busy. So tell us what is happening.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Shit, ok. Thanks, hyung. Jisung.’ The kid perked up off the ground at the sound of his name. ‘Sit in front of me, and look at me. I need another pair of eyes.’</p><p> </p><p>‘But if I’m facing you I can’t see what you’re doing?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Not for that. I need you to Furby.’</p><p> </p><p>‘I will <em> not </em>furry! I’m not Minho!’</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> Furby not furry you dumbass</em>. I’ve done this with Hyunjin before, it actually helps me a lot. You don’t have to do anything, you just sit there and let me talk out my problem to myself.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Sounds fake but ok.’</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin rolled his eyes. ‘So this awful virus is a self-replicating worm that’s intelligent, in an AI sense. It opens ports for outside traffic to DDOS your ass as well as creates large DLL files to slow down your processing speed. When trying to get rid of it, it corrupted its location by adding forbidden characters which made the path invalid so the computer couldn’t find its location to delete it. When it realized it was being deleted, it started adding in extensions to files to prevent me from getting any data, and when I tried to export data, I couldn’t save it to anything it could get a hold of because the file was either suddenly 80 gigs too big or already corrupted. It’s editing the metadata of the files, but how? First I need to get rid of all the bad files to speed up processing power and close all the ports that are not needed. So I could write a script whitelisting only main ports and close everything that’s greater than 1000. I could also restrict Hyunjin’s user from making files and give him basic least privileges, and then if that doesn't work, just reimage the hard drive.’</p><p> </p><p>‘I understood none of that. What's reimagining?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Reimaging. It’s reinstalling the operating system.’</p><p> </p><p>Jisung stared blankly. ‘Uhhhh...’</p><p> </p><p>‘Um, ok, you know what factory resetting is?’</p><p> </p><p>‘That’s when you set all the settings back to how it came.’ Woojin said from over Jisung’s shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>‘Yeah, you basically reset everything. Reimaging does that, but its a clean machine. Factory defaults and everything, but it also wipes your data that’s not backed up.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Oh shoot.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Yeah, that’s why its plan B. Normally a windows normie like Huynjin would back up all their files to his Microsoft account on one drive or even through google with stuff like dropbox, but ugh, he didn't. I can save Hyunjin’s laptop, but all his files would die. I'm gonna try to plug his hard drive in a school computer as a usb extension where the default student user has no privileges and see if I can do things remotely from a different administrator account.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Again, you’ve lost me.’</p><p> </p><p>Changbin laughed, ‘Maybe if you used your one brain cell once in a while-’</p><p> </p><p>‘Hey, I’m keeping it nice and new for important future occasions.’</p><p> </p><p>‘So you can respond to Minho when he proposes to you before officially taking you on a date?’</p><p> </p><p>Jisung threw his notebook at Changbin. ‘We are <em> not </em>-’</p><p> </p><p>‘Yeah, yeah. No one's convinced of that though. Plus, I have money on you asking him out first, so hurry up.’ </p><p> </p><p>‘What the fuck Changbin!’</p><p> </p><p>‘Yeah, what the fuck Changbin!’ Jeongin countered from his place behind a bookshelf where he was organizing books. ‘I put my money on Minho proposing first.’</p><p> </p><p>‘I think I want to strangle you all. Chan hyung, can we kick Changbin out of 3rahca?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Now you know how I feel most days. I want to strangle you all.’ Seungmin snorted from behind the thick school monitor.</p><p> </p><p>‘All of us Seungmin?’ Chan asked with a <em> look </em> on his face. ‘And no Jisung were not kicking Changbin out. 2racha just isn't that catchy.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Fine, most of you. I don't think I could ever strangle Innie.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Is this why you never demand anything from him when you fix his stuff?’</p><p> </p><p>‘He rarely ever breaks anything, so yeah.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Can we talk about how whenever Jinnie asks you to fix something, you do?’ Jisung asked scooting closer to Seungmin.</p><p> </p><p>‘No.’</p><p> </p><p>‘It’s true though!’</p><p> </p><p>‘Now that I think about it,’ Changbin started, ‘he always fixed Hyunjin’s stuff and Hyunjin always happily pays the price. Like buying you food, doing your chores, going on dates-‘</p><p> </p><p>‘I major in computers! Not blenders, not garbage disposals-’</p><p> </p><p>‘Or speakers?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Computers have speakers in them.’ Seungmin refused to look up.</p><p> </p><p>‘Uh huh. And lamps?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Chan hyung not you too!’</p><p> </p><p>‘But you're not denying it.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Can someone help me with a few of these books?’ Jeongin called from behind one of the bookshelves. </p><p> </p><p><em> Saved by a Jeongin, </em>Seungmin thought. He’d never really considered what he was doing with Hyunjin was considered special treatment. Yes, while he did break his laptop a lot, it was usually just his laptop, the damage being easy stupid errors Seumgnim could usually fix. Like the time Hyunjin accidentally put his laptop in core safe boot mode and almost had a breakdown when only a command prompt popped up after restarting the machine. Or the time Jisung was trying to be funny and turned the narrator on and then hidden the easy access menu from the lock screen. Or the time his mouse froze up because his drivers were very out of date. Once Hyunjin even managed to delete his system32 folder, but it was nothing the windows recovery partition couldn’t fix. </p><p> </p><p>And at least when Hyunjin did have something for Sungmin to fix other than a laptop, it was something he had either dropped or let the batteries corrode in. it was nothing outrageous like a blender, or the electronic uno card dispenser. </p><p> </p><p>That thing deserved to stay dead. </p><p> </p><p>But the harder he thought about it, maybe he did seem to favour Hyunjin out of everyone in their friend group. </p><p> </p><p>The clang of a runaway screwdriver brought Seungmin back to his task at hand. Dismantle this school computer, add in Hyunjin’s hard drive, and see if it affected the computer in the same way. The easy part was fixing the machine in front of him. Computers were easy because they did exactly what you told them to do. </p><p> </p><p>People, not so much. </p><p><br/><br/>=================<br/><br/><br/></p><p>
  <strong>District Of No Return: </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: i hate to say this but hyunjin ur things fried</p><p>I can save your laptop but you would lose all your files</p><p>I tried backing some of your stuff up but the virus even got to the point of where it encrypted some of your files</p><p>So</p><p>Uh</p><p>No bueno</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: thats really sad echo play despacito</p><p> </p><p>Recycle bin: isn't it alexa not echo</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: techinically, but i'm too poor to have an alexa so i have an echo</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: if you were truly poor u wouldnt have either</p><p> </p><p>Recycle bin: k but</p><p>Its not the same</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: bro</p><p>DON'T U THINK I KNOW THAT</p><p>Echo play crab rave</p><p> </p><p>Recycle bin: ah yes</p><p>Crab rave</p><p>A good song</p><p>Unlike soemtinvkldfjm</p><p> </p><p>Mother: children</p><p>Weve been over this</p><p>We all write trash sometimes</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: AT LEAST I'M NOT THE ONE THAT CREATED THE DEMON CHILD WOW</p><p> </p><p>Recycle bin: I WROTE THE SONG SURE BUT WHO WROTE THE LYRICS</p><p> </p><p>But father: i remember the very day all of you swore to never mention a word of that mistake ever again</p><p>And i'm now reminding you of it</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: FORGET THE SONG</p><p>MY LAPTOP</p><p>MY FILES</p><p>MY FINAL</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: surry m8</p><p>Shes dead son</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: well were trying to recreate it, and i think we got most of it down again</p><p>There's one part none of us can really remember so were trying to work that out right now</p><p>But we should have it done and re recorded by midnight tomorrow</p><p>When its due</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: yikes</p><p>I'm getting anxiery just thinking about it</p><p> </p><p>Mother: remember to take breaks and eat</p><p>And stay hydrated</p><p>And i stg if any of u pass out this time</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: yessss motherrrrrr</p><p> </p><p>================</p><p>
  <strong>District Of No Return: </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: i think</p><p>I actually wanna die</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: everything HURTS</p><p>Things that shouldnt hurt</p><p>HURT</p><p>like</p><p>DID I NORMALLY HAVE THIS MANY MUSSELS IN MY BAK</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: hows that pride holding up</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: HURTS</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: I think Hyunjin is broken</p><p> </p><p>Die Hyunjin: damn</p><p>I wanted to break Hyunjin</p><p>No fair</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: no like</p><p>hyunjin was already broken</p><p>but now he’s really broken</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: if anyone gets to break hyunjin its gonna be me</p><p>Boi i pulled an all nighter for you</p><p>U better appreciate my ass</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: i appreciate ur ass v much</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: GAY</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: 🥰</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: KJFLKAJFGLKSJDFVNJDVNFH</p><p> </p><p>Fav child: this is ho you KNOW minnie’s tired</p><p> </p><p>Recycle bin: this is going in mt grey mail folder</p><p> </p><p>Mother: wtf is grey mail?</p><p> </p><p>Recycle bin: its like black mail but not as bad</p><p>Nothing can top the junk seungmin has on all of us</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: i want to unsee all</p><p>ALL </p><p>Of your browser histories</p><p>U especially minho</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: its not like i asked u to go through it</p><p> </p><p>techGOD: 😒</p><p>Hey jisung</p><p>Did you know minho has a thing for exhibition?</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: OUTED</p><p> </p><p>But father: innie don't look</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: uhhhhhhhhhhhhh</p><p> </p><p>Recycle bin: HAHAHAHHAHA HIS FACE IS BRIGHT RED</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: seungie WHY</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: next time u ask me to fix something, clear your history first</p><p>What else u wanna know jisung?</p><p> </p><p>[Minho has kicked Jisung from the chat]</p><p> </p><p>Mother: that was possibly the worst temporary solution you could have come up with</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: I OANICKED </p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: i'm blacklisting all the porn sites on our dorm router</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: what's black listing?</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: blocking</p><p> </p><p>Recycle bin: wait hold on</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: seungmin u can't deprive eight college boys of their needs</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: i'm not depriving</p><p>I'm limiting</p><p>Jerk off elseware</p><p>Or use the neighbors router for your weird porn</p><p>If u ask nicely ill hook u up with their password</p><p>Hint</p><p>Its ‘sexyBabySharkDance’</p><p> </p><p>But father: won't they realize there's other people on their network?</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: nah, the only kid remotely tech savvy in that dorm is hongjoong, but he;s kind of an airhead sometimes</p><p>And as long as san doesn't think to check the router history</p><p>U should be gukki</p><p> </p><p>Mother: seungmin, no illegial tech stuff</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: its not illegal</p><p>Its free real estate</p><p>😎😎</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>=======================</p><p>
  <strong>District Of No Return: </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>[Jisung (die hyunjin) has been added to the chat]</p><p> </p><p>die hyunjin: god I hate how all the messages delete themselves after u get yeeted</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 4:20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Felix - dumpster fire<br/>Seungmin - tech GOD<br/>Changbin - recycle bin<br/>Jisung - die hyunjin<br/>Chan - mother<br/>Woojin - but father<br/>Jeongin - fav sun<br/>Hyunjin - dead meat<br/>Minho - hohoOH</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>District of no return:</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: 4:20</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: OH FUCK 420</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: 🔥</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: 🔥</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: 🔥</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: 🔥</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: 🔥🔥🔥</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: 🔥</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: 🔥</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: 🔥</p><p> </p><p>Recycle bin: 🔥</p><p>🔥</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: 🔥</p><p> </p><p>Mother: 🔥</p><p>🔥</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: 🔥</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: 🔥</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: 🔥</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: 🔥</p><p> </p><p>But father: 🔥</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: 🔥</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: 🔥🔥</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: WAIT NO ITS 4:21 U CAN'T BLAZE ANYMORE</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: 💧</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster fire: 💧</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: 💦</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: Discusting</p><p> </p><p>Recycle bin: 🚿</p><p> </p><p>But father: 🤽</p><p> </p><p>Mother: 🚰</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: 🌧</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat:🌊</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: 💧</p><p> </p><p>Mother: 🕳</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: Wtf is that</p><p> </p><p>Mother: A drain</p><p>U know</p><p>To drain all the water</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: HAHAHAHAHAHA</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: I think i hate u</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: I hate this friend group</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: seungminie u didnt send a water to put out the fire</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: good</p><p>i want the world to burn</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>Hyunjin -&gt; Seungmin</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>All u gotta do is login in and hit synch files and u should be all good</p><p> </p><p>Kkk</p><p>Thank u minnie</p><p>Uhh</p><p>so</p><p> </p><p>What</p><p> </p><p>Um</p><p>So</p><p>Saturday</p><p>U free?</p><p> </p><p>Isn't the group doing soemthing all together?</p><p> </p><p>Oh yeah haha guess so</p><p>Movie night i think</p><p> </p><p>Did u wanna do something?</p><p> </p><p>Uh yeah</p><p>I wanted to ask u something</p><p> </p><p>Can't u just ask me here</p><p> </p><p>Oh</p><p>Wheres the synch button</p><p> </p><p>What's what u wanted to ask saturday?</p><p>I cantell you how to get to the  buton now</p><p> </p><p>Cool</p><p>Thanks seungmin ur the best</p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Hyunjin -&gt; Jisung</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>HELP I THINK I FUCKED UP</p><p>Either than or seungmin has one braincell</p><p> </p><p>Oooooo howd ur attempt go?</p><p> </p><p>Pretty A S S</p><p>I asked if he was free saturday</p><p>Ya know</p><p>Like how a normal person would when their trying to ask someone out</p><p> </p><p>Bro</p><p>Bonding nights saturday</p><p> </p><p>Yeah</p><p>Forgot woops</p><p>Seungmin brought it up</p><p>And then asked me if needed anything</p><p> </p><p>Damn</p><p>His head is too far up his computer i don't think he can understand anything other than 01010101</p><p>Hey there's an idea</p><p>Ask him out in binary</p><p> </p><p>What's binary</p><p> </p><p>The 0’s and 1’s dude</p><p>Its what computers read</p><p>I'm starting to think ur the one woth 0 braincells</p><p> </p><p>How the fuck do you convert something to binary??</p><p>And would seungmin get it??????</p><p> </p><p>Idk</p><p>Google that shit</p><p> </p><p>Ah yes</p><p>‘How effecting is asking your crush out in binary’</p><p>KAJGFKAJGFKJF</p><p>THE ONLY SHIT I GET BACK IS ASKING OUT SOMEOENS WHO NONBINARY</p><p>I DON'T WANT TTHAT</p><p>ALL I WANNA KNOW HOW TO ASK OUT A DENSE NERD</p><p>TT.TT</p><p>I don't even know why i'm asking u this</p><p> </p><p>Exsqueezeme??</p><p> </p><p>U n minho can't even get ur shit together</p><p>Why did i think u could help me with mine?</p><p> </p><p>L i s t e n</p><p>H e r e</p><p>K i d d o</p><p> </p><p>I am</p><p>OLDER</p><p> </p><p>Irrevlant</p><p>Ur telling me this cuz u my friendo</p><p>And friendos complain to one another</p><p>Plus i think i'd be mad @ u if u kept this from meeeee</p><p> </p><p>I think ud strangle me alive</p><p> </p><p>hey hey hey</p><p>heres an idea</p><p>ask him satruday</p><p>for like a date</p><p>or an outing</p><p> </p><p>And get rejected infront of everyone?</p><p>No thanks</p><p> </p><p>U dont have to ask in front of everyone</p><p>Maybe after some of us have left</p><p>Or pull him aside</p><p>Dumbass</p><p> </p><p>That was uncalled for</p><p>But ill think about it</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. assmar</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>assmor?<br/>assmar?<br/>SMAR?<br/>MARS?<br/>ahhh...<br/>A S M R</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Felix - dumpster fire / Unsatisfied™</p><p>Seungmin - tech GOD</p><p>Changbin - recycle bin / impaitnet </p><p>Jisung - die hyunjin / protractor</p><p>Chan - mother</p><p>Woojin - but father</p><p>Jeongin - fav sun</p><p>Hyunjin - dead meat</p><p>Minho - hohoOH</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>District Of No Return: </strong>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> Tech GOD: i</p><p>i think i wanna</p><p>jump outta window</p><p> </p><p>die hyunjin: i second that notion</p><p> </p><p> Tech GOD: u wanna jump with me?</p><p> </p><p>die hyunjin: no</p><p>i want to witness you jump out a windows</p><p> </p><p> Tech GOD: wow</p><p>im dragin you wiht me</p><p>BITCH</p><p> </p><p>mother: there will be no jumpign out of windwos or otherwise</p><p> </p><p>die hyunjin: but mooooooooooooooooom</p><p> </p><p>mother: no</p><p> </p><p>die hyunjin: weh</p><p> </p><p>recycle bin: u r the one who chose computers</p><p> </p><p> tech GOD: no im not</p><p> </p><p>dead meat: u better not say computers chose me</p><p> </p><p> Tech GOD: my mum chose for me</p><p>oh</p><p> </p><p>dead meat: oh</p><p> </p><p> Tech GOD: if i had my choice</p><p>i think i would have gone into literature</p><p>or english</p><p> </p><p>die hyunjin: wow</p><p>not vocal preformance?</p><p> </p><p> Tech GOD: no</p><p>no</p><p>no</p><p>FORK no</p><p>im to scared</p><p> </p><p>die hyunjin: but minnieeeeeeeeeee</p><p>eEeeeEEeEe</p><p>E</p><p>Sungie #2!</p><p> </p><p> Tech GOD: no</p><p> </p><p>die hyunjin: Ur voice is like angles </p><p>Harmonising Perfectly</p><p> </p><p>but father: sweat angels</p><p> </p><p>mother: Angles</p><p>📐</p><p>I’ve never heard a protractor sing</p><p> </p><p>die hyunjin: KAHDNSNSNDHDJ</p><p>AN<b> <em>GEL</em> </b></p><p> </p><p>dead meat: How do u you even no wat an ‘angek’ is?</p><p>Aren't u some kinda strange rejected satin spawn?</p><p> </p><p> Tech GOD: Angek</p><p>An angel</p><p>But kek</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: GUYS GUESS HWAT I FOUND</p><p> </p><p>mother: what</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: ANOTHER STREET BREAD</p><p> </p><p>die hyunjin: EAT IT</p><p> </p><p>mother: GROSS WHY</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: no i just added it to a collection of my other street bread pictues</p><p> </p><p>mother: why</p><p>why do you have a collection</p><p>OF PICTRES OF BREAD ON THE GROUND</p><p> </p><p>But father: im wondering how many instances of street bread there are out there</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: quite a bunch</p><p>even i'm surprised</p><p>which is why i started the collection</p><p>
  
</p><p>Wait fuxk wrong photo</p><p> </p><p>mother: Uhhhhhhh</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: is it bad that I can think of three ppl rn that would classify as chaotic evil?</p><p> </p><p>mother: innie</p><p>we need to talk about the people u hang out wiht</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: AHA found it</p><p> <br/><br/></p><p>hohoOH: WHAT TJE FUCM</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: 🅱isten 🅱ucko</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: Yeah i'm listening</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: O-Oh</p><p>I was not exoecting this</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: Dude</p><p> u can't tell us to fucking 🅱isten</p><p>and then NOT FUCKING SAY ANYTHING</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: I think he just fucking did</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: Wow well will ya look at the time i gotta go walk my desk k byeeeereee</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: That was the most chaotic thing i think i've seen him type</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: I am gone for a phat minute and wut to frikk</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: I think I’ve embraced the what to fuck while the some I’ve spent suffering here</p><p> </p><p>Die hyunjin: Bro</p><p>U cause 80% of that ‘what to fuxk’</p><p> </p><p> Tech GOD: Sure</p><p>Angle</p><p> </p><p>[Seungmin changed Jisung’s nickname to protractor]</p><p><br/>protractor: honestly<br/><br/>with seungmin being seungmin</p><p>it could have been so much worse</p><p>I count this as a win</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>=================</p><p>
  <strong>District Of No Return: </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>recycle bin: Why is asmr a thing </p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: What’s wrong with assmore</p><p>Ass mirror</p><p>Ass my</p><p>A</p><p>S</p><p>M</p><p>R</p><p> </p><p>recycle bin: I</p><p> </p><p>but father: NOPE</p><p>WE DON'T WANNA KNOW</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: Listen</p><p>My auto correct just does it’s own thing Nd</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: This is the one time I’m glad I can claim I’m a minor</p><p>There is a child present </p><p>Keep your strange shit to your self</p><p>Or else</p><p>Please</p><p> </p><p>mother: </p><p>I raised I right</p><p>I</p><p>U</p><p>I raised you right</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: Was that’s a question or a statement</p><p> </p><p>Protractor: I like IU</p><p>my bitch can FUCKING SING</p><p> </p><p>Mother: Wooji</p><p>Help</p><p> </p><p>But father: Yes</p><p>Yes I did</p><p> </p><p>Dumpster Fire: don't worry bro, I’ll validate ur IU comment</p><p>She’s a bad bitch</p><p>We stab</p><p>Stan</p><p> </p><p>recycle bin: Before Minho decided to disturbs the peace</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: Hey</p><p>U did that in your own</p><p> </p><p>recycle bin: Why does asmr exist</p><p>And why is it enjoyed</p><p> </p><p>but father: This is a black hole I really don’t wanna go down</p><p> </p><p>recycle bin: But like</p><p>Why</p><p>It’s so</p><p>Euargh</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: <b>@dumpster fire</b></p><p> </p><p>recycle bin: But why</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: I watch more porn than anything</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: MY EYES</p><p>I’m outtie</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: Damn hold up I’m not going into detail</p><p>But I guess some people find sounds pleasing?</p><p>Like when sensory deprivation </p><p> </p><p>mother: Ok stop that’s enough</p><p>Jeongin actually threw his phone</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: surry </p><p>I’m just trying to help?</p><p>
  <b>@dumpster fire</b>
</p><p>Explain</p><p>Ur boyfriends having a smooth brain moment</p><p> </p><p>recycle bin: Go back to your porn</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: Don’t need to tell me twice</p><p> </p><p>but father: Gross</p><p>Die</p><p> </p><p>protractor: Isn’t it illegal for a father to tell his own child to die?</p><p>like</p><p>I'm pretty sure that's child abuse</p><p> </p><p>but father: Jeoigin os the only child I willingly claim</p><p>And maybe sometimes seungmin</p><p>The rest of you are either distant mooching  family members or mistakes </p><p> </p><p>mother: Minho that means your the poor mooching uncle that everyone tolerates</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: I didn’t come here to be attacked</p><p> </p><p>protractor: Old meme</p><p>MEME POLIECE</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: I was summoned</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: So that fuxking summons u but an @ is useless??</p><p> </p><p>mother: K Wooj</p><p>But Felix</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: ??</p><p> </p><p>mother: I’ll adopt him willingly </p><p> </p><p>But father: I’ll accept that statement </p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: tf kinda family </p><p> </p><p>recycle bin: Felix explain</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: Hold up hunkiest</p><p>Gotta deal with  crime forst</p><p> </p><p>protractor: Hunkiest?</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: MINHO</p><p>UNTIL U ISE A BETTER MEME THAT HAS NOT GRACED THE FACE IF FACEBOOK</p><p>NO MORE PROM</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: I can live without prom</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: U m ow what I mean </p><p>Seungmin!</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: Got it</p><p>Minho</p><p>U’ve been cut off</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH:Wat</p><p>Nani</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: Wait for it</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: Hue hue hue hue</p><p> </p><p>dead meat: And we still not gonna talk about hunkiest?</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: shhhhh it was a simple typo stop bringing up my dark past</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: AHHHHHHHHHHHH</p><p>SEUNGMIN</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: Listen to Felix and u will be speed</p><p>Spread</p><p>Spared</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: I don’t mind being spread but preferably by someone other than Seungmin</p><p> </p><p>but father: MINHO</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: Never mind</p><p>Ur staying cut off forever</p><p> </p><p>recycle bin: While Minho is searchi  for a decent meme can some PLZ ANSWER WHY ASMR EXOSTS</p><p> </p><p>[Felix changed Changbin’s nickname to impatient]</p><p> </p><p>impatient: Damn</p><p>I was expecting Minho to take a while and thought we could be productive </p><p>But </p><p>I was ROASTED</p><p>for being INNOVATIVE</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: Bro I told u to chill</p><p> </p><p>impatient: ASLONG AS ASSMOR EXOSTS O WON'T BEBABMET TO CHOLL</p><p>WHY WHXY CAM I ALIBE AT THE EAMR TIME ARKFHSJSKDNSMSJSNDKD</p><p> </p><p>protractor: U alright beanie??</p><p> </p><p>dead meat: I think he had a stroke</p><p> </p><p>mother: Oh well</p><p>One less mouth to feed</p><p> </p><p>protractor: As long as he <em> backed everything up </em>we should be fine </p><p> </p><p>mother: I felt that in my soul</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: I guess asmr has satisfying qualities to it that makes me feel complete</p><p>Like</p><p>I’m a sad sad donut</p><p>And asmr is my donut hole</p><p> </p><p>impatient: This is not why I wanted</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: Jisoo H Christ</p><p>I leave for ten minutes and </p><p>Yikes</p><p><br/>mother: what’s keeping u so buys innie?¿?</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: I’m trying to get a project does for engrish and listen to your shy show at the same time</p><p>iys very taxing</p><p> </p><p>dead meat: There are better ways to put what u just said</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: Huh</p><p>Too lazy to think of more</p><p>Why does assmor disturb u so much CJ bean?</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: CJ BEAN</p><p> </p><p>impatient: It’s just</p><p>Ugh</p><p>Gross</p><p>And I came across this one channel tho other day</p><p>OF SOME BITCH</p><p>JISY FICKING</p><p>EATING SHIT</p><p>LIKE MAKEUP</p><p>AND CANDLES </p><p>AND EVEN FUCKING GLASS</p><p>AND CALLING IT ASMR</p><p>AND SHE EAS GETTING VIEWSOFF IT </p><p>LIKE</p><p>AKDNSMAJDJSKSKSJDKA</p><p>WHAT DRIVE U TO THIS</p><p>ALL THE MONE U MAKE OFF YOUTIBE</p><p>IS GONNA GO TORWARS HETTING UR STOMACH OUMPED </p><p>JANSBDNDBDJSHSHS</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: ...</p><p> </p><p>dumpster fire: Well?</p><p>Where’s my good memes</p><p> </p><p>impatient: I’m don't</p><p>I’m out of fuel</p><p>Time to hibernant</p><p>For the year</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH:</p><p>
  
</p><p>Happy felix?</p><p> </p><p>[Felix changed their nickname to Unsatisfied™]</p><p> </p><p>Unsatisfied™: Hmmm</p><p>Itll do for now</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>hohoOH:</p><p> </p><p>??</p><p>ah</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Unsatisfied™: I see u are determined hyung</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: Felix tell seugnmn to fox eerything</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: What needs to be fixed?</p><p>I don't see anything here</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: Hyunjin</p><p>Tell seungmin to put everything back the way it was </p><p> </p><p>protractor: Woah low blow</p><p> </p><p>dead meat: But what do i get out of it</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: Ur assuming</p><p> i'd ever listen to his dumbass</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: ? 😒😒</p><p> </p><p>dead meat: If seungminnie does fix what websites are and aren't blocked</p><p>Then we have to go back to hearing about the weird stuff u search up</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: and when do i ever share</p><p> </p><p>but father: Too often</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>mother: Ok</p><p>Thats cute</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: I think minho hyung needs to suffer fora few days</p><p>Ill fix it later</p><p> </p><p>protractor: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA</p><p>GET REKD</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: seungie 🙃🙃🙃</p><p> </p><p>protractor: brb gotta go jump-</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: WE SHALL HAVE PEACE</p><p> </p><p>impatient: I won't live in peace until asmr decides to not exist</p><p> </p><p>Unsatisfied™: I'm telling u bro</p><p>U just gotta find the good shit</p><p>I'm sure u watch a bunch of amateuristic posers who are only doing shit for views</p><p>Once u see truly good asmr, ull see it in a whole new light</p><p> </p><p>impatient: I think the only ‘new lignt’ i'm seeing is my suddenly lowered opinion of you</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Minho -&gt; Jisung</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>seung</p><p>swung seungieeeeee</p><p>u still up for l8r</p><p> </p><p>can we uhhh</p><p>raincheck?</p><p> </p><p>??</p><p>eerything good</p><p>ur not even making fun of my use of l33t</p><p> </p><p>yet 'sall gud</p><p>just</p><p>swamped</p><p>and exausted</p><p> </p><p>and?</p><p> </p><p>and wat</p><p> </p><p>I feel like there's something else</p><p> </p><p>I feel like one of them know</p><p> </p><p>'one of them'</p><p> </p><p>probably chan-hyung</p><p>or woojin-hyung</p><p>hell maybe even seungminie</p><p> </p><p>is it a problem if they know</p><p> </p><p>idk</p><p>as of now?</p><p>kinda</p><p> </p><p>whats wrong with them knowing?</p><p>thyre our fiends</p><p>fuck</p><p>friends</p><p>don't u trust them?</p><p> </p><p>ugh no its not that</p><p>I trust them</p><p>I rlly do</p><p>just</p><p>give me time</p><p> </p><p>fine sungie</p><p>u'd let me know if u wanted to stop right?</p><p> </p><p>course</p><p>that was the agreement we made</p><p> </p><p>ugh don't call it an 'agreement'</p><p>it makes it sound so...</p><p>ewrfwed</p><p> </p><p>that's what it is</p><p>right?</p><p> </p><p>i guess</p><p>it just makes it sound</p><p>hollow</p><p> </p><p>isn't it tho?</p><p>no strings attached?</p><p>that's what we <em>compromised on</em></p><p> </p><p>yeah</p><p>yeah we did</p><p>hope u get ur stuff done jisung</p><p>night</p><p> </p><p>wait fuck hyung</p><p>hyung</p><p>goddammit I knew ud get mad</p><p>🙄😣</p><p>well</p><p>ill be here</p><p>(draft)</p><p>[crying]</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this is the consistency of my brain during quarantine<br/>this'll probably have 7-8 chapters total<br/>probably<br/>I hope everyone is staying safe and far apart from strangers</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Plate Cassarole</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Felix - Unsatisfied™ / Suddenly Satisfied™<br/>Seungmin - tech GOD<br/>Changbin - impaitnet / Searab<br/>Jisung - protractor / JONE<br/>Chan - mother / Chrib / Chad<br/>Woojin - but father / Antiplate Vaxer<br/>Jeongin - fav sun<br/>Hyunjin - dead meat<br/>Minho - hohoOH</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>District of no return:</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Unsatisfied™: Holy spoon i just realized-</p><p> </p><p>Mother: Everything good felix?</p><p> </p><p>Unsatisfied™: NO</p><p>WE NEVER SORTED OUT WHAOS BEINGONG WAT</p><p> </p><p>But father: ahhhh</p><p>@Everyone</p><p>Ugh I HATE how that doesn't work</p><p>
  <b>@Unsatisfied™ @tech GOD @impaitnet </b>
</p><p>
  <b>@protractor @mother @fav sun</b>
</p><p>
  <b>@dead meat @hohoOH</b>
</p><p>Whos bringing what this afternoon?</p><p> </p><p>Mother: ill cook if u guys don't wanna pay for takeout</p><p>Just decide on what u all want </p><p>Or provide ingredients</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: ill get drinks</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: i can bring plates?</p><p> </p><p>Protractor: gr8 idea bro</p><p>Ill bring plates</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: cool</p><p>Guess i'm bringing plates</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: looks like i'm bringing plates again</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: such a varity</p><p>Plates it is</p><p> </p><p>Mother: one hearty plate cassreol coming right up</p><p> </p><p>But father: i tink I like the crunch of burnt stryfome more than any of you</p><p> </p><p>[Felix changed their nickname to Suddenly Satisfied™]</p><p> </p><p>[Chan changed Woojin’s nickname to Antiplate vaxer]</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Saturday came around faster than Hyunjin wanted it to. Sure, he loved hanging out with all his friends but dreaded seeing one of them. The dread had been pushed to the back of his kind and festered, making him more and more anxious as the week went on. It almost got to the point where he wanted to pull an I'm-sick-and-suddenly-can't-make-it-oh-no-how-sad’, but he knew that would make things worse and his friends would actively hunt him down and bully him for being a sorry excuse of a person. </p><p> </p><p><em> You're being dramatic. </em>Jisung had told him. Easy for him to say, there was nothing for him to be anxiously worried about, at least for the weekend. Or maybe there was?</p><p> </p><p>Jisung had been weird ever since a few days ago. His usually painfully happy dementor seemed more toned down, more forced, and the kid seemed to be more exhausted of late. Granted, any college kid is never well-rested until they graduate, but Jisung seemed to be more so- like something was stressing him out. Maybe he had an exam or a deadline coming up. Hopefully, Chan or Changbin knew something. </p><p> </p><p>Even now, on the way to Chan and Woojin’s dorm, it was quiet (technically also Jeongin and Minho lived there, but everyone called it Chan and Woojin’s). A quiet Jisung usually meant something was wrong, like he was sick, or exhausted, or <em> thinking </em>. Please let him not be pensive. </p><p> </p><p>‘You good, Ji?’</p><p> </p><p>Jisung turned towards Hyunjin with a look of surprise on his face. ‘Yeah, why?’</p><p> </p><p>‘You just seem, I dunno, kinda quiet.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Wow, I see how it is. I have to be obnoxious constantly for me to be ok-’</p><p> </p><p>‘Well in your defence, yeah.’</p><p> </p><p>‘How is that in my defence? That's more insulting than helpful.’</p><p> </p><p>‘I’m just saying, being uh, <em> energetic</em>, isn't a bad thing, it's just-’</p><p> </p><p>‘FEELING SO ENERGETIC!’ Jisung slung an arm around Hyunjin’s neck, which was awkward for both of them considering Hyunjin was a few inches taller than Jisung. ‘C’mmon Hyunjin, break out that karaoke spirit and SING WITH ME. TONIGHT, OUT OF CONTROL, YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH-‘</p><p> </p><p>That's how the rest of the trek to bonding night went, Jisung low key dragging Hyunjin while the two of them botched Wanna One songs. Jisung tried to keep the trend going, but after an argument breaking out over whether season two of Produce 101 was truly rigged or not (‘It was not!’, ‘Hyunjin, Samuel was fucking <em> robbed!’ </em>) the two of them had reached Chan’s dorm. Thankfully, everyone had the foreknowledge to, in fact, not bring plates and the apartment was rich smelling with spices and grilling meat. </p><p> </p><p>‘Hey, you two!’ Woojin called from the kitchen. ‘Food's on the way, make yourselves at home.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Cool! We brought chips and brownies. Don’t worry, it’s all store-bought.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Good, I don’t trust your baking anymore, Sungie.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Hyung, it was <em> once-‘ </em></p><p> </p><p>‘Sure, Jan.’</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> Mooooooooom, </em>dad’s bullying meeeeeeee.’ Jisung wined and stomped towards the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>‘Wooji, stop bullying my children.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Since when was Jisung <em>your </em>child? I thought you disowned him!’</p><p> </p><p>Chan ran a hand through Jisung’s hair despite the younger protesting. ‘It’s been hard ever since the breakup. We split everything: the furniture, the estate, the kids.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Wait, which kids did I get in this then? I know I ended up with all the propriety and the mansion, but if you gave me all the kids I don’t want, there's gonna be some problems.’</p><p> </p><p>‘I claim Felix and Jisung, and maybe Changbin.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Take Minho and I won’t ask for child support.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Deal.’ Chan sighed. ‘Dang, that guy was a tough bargainer.’ </p><p> </p><p>‘I’m glad you see us as nothing more than assets.’ Changbin commented from behind Hyunjin in the doorway. ‘Are you gonna stay there and make me stand in the hallway...?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Forgive me, your majesty. Please, at your leisure.’ Hyunjin stepped aside and motioned into the hallway. </p><p> </p><p>‘Run along, peasant.’ Changbin shooed him back into the hallway. </p><p> </p><p>‘Asshole.’ Hyunjin tried to tackle Changbin but only succeeded in shoving him further into the living room where he was quickly overpowered by the shorter male.</p><p> </p><p>‘At least try to keep it down, please. If I get another noise complaint, Boss might actually fire my ass.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Why do you only seem to be an RA whenever it conveniences you? Like, I’m convinced you do nothing.’ Jisung called into the kitchen. </p><p> </p><p>‘Because I is. Now shut up and help with something.’ Chan shot back, messing up Jisung's hair even further, resulting in loud dying bird noises coming from the orange-haired boy. </p><p> </p><p>‘Why is it every time I find myself here, someone’s always screeching.’ Seungmin commented from the doorway as Felix loudly announced their arrival. </p><p> </p><p>‘Because you’re always one of the last ones here. Now help with dinner.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Sorry, it was my fault this time.’ Felix said. ‘I was hung up in the dance studio, an underclassman wanted help with a routine and five minutes turned into thirty-five.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Felix, you should treat every under classmate like you do Changbin. Then you won't have any problems with being too nice.’ Minho said, emerging from his room. </p><p> </p><p>‘Does that mean he would want to d-AGK!’ Felix had thrown himself at Seungmin before he could finish his thought. </p><p> </p><p>‘Dack? What does dack mean? Is that some weird form of redacted?’ Changbin asked. </p><p> </p><p>‘It’s better you don't know, sweaty.’</p><p> </p><p>‘This is racism.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Bitch, were all Korean.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Still racists.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Changbean, shut your short trap and come help in the kitchen.’</p><p> </p><p>Changbin seemed to have an internal aneurysm before calling, ‘Yes father.’ and walking into the kitchen. </p><p> </p><p>Group dinner was as chaotic as it could have been (nothing was safe, either eat fast or starve) but at least the attempt to start a food fight was quickly squashed by Woojin’s harsh glare. But the real decision of the night had yet to be made by the group.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Do we wanna watch a movie? Or play a game?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Movie!’</p><p> </p><p>‘Games!’</p><p> </p><p>‘I wanna movie!’ </p><p> </p><p>‘No one cares about your opinion Changbin, let’s play games.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Jisung, I will end your bloodline!’ Changbin yelled, chasing him with a couch cushion in his arms. </p><p> </p><p>‘Bold of you to assume it doesn't stop at me.’</p><p> </p><p>And that’s how the group found themselves playing drunk uno. Two pillow fights, and an argument about whether birds were real or not later (Minho, you have to believe me, birds are just spies for the American government and giraffes are their servers) the group settled into a game of uno. The shots became integrated after Chan tried bargaining his way out of drawing twelve cards.  Minho, being the first one to empty his hand, took it upon himself to put an awful movie on in the background, claiming it was more entertaining than watching them fight over a deck of multicoloured cards.</p><p> </p><p>‘Uno, bitchass.’ Jeongin declared promptly before taking a shot.</p><p> </p><p>‘What? Fucker, how?!’ Jisung was outraged, but maybe that was because he had over half the deck and noticeably inebriated. </p><p> </p><p>‘Life likes me better.’</p><p> </p><p>Woojin put down a red nine, Chan put down a green nine, and Seungmin put down a green plus two. </p><p> </p><p>‘Hey hey, guys. Do y’all have plus two’s?’ Hyunjin asked down the line. </p><p> </p><p>‘I does.’ Felix smirking. </p><p> </p><p>‘I think I does.’ Jisung started vigorously shuffling through his mini-deck. </p><p> </p><p>‘Wait hold up, I don't think I does.’ Changbin stared at his cards, non-blinking, like if he blinked they would change. </p><p> </p><p>‘We can fix that Changbin.’ Jisung said as he openly handed a red plus two to him. </p><p> </p><p>‘That’s cheating!’ Jeongin whined. </p><p> </p><p>‘No, it’s called temporary alliances.’ Seungmin snarked. ‘You can’t drink your way out of this one either.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Godammit!’</p><p> </p><p>‘Hey, no swearing, Child!’</p><p> </p><p>‘Shut up, Chan hyung. I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you’re not my real mother.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Wooj, they know. They know they’re not ours. What do we do?’</p><p> </p><p>‘How about we do nothing?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Sounds good.’ Chan then proceeded to down three more shots. </p><p> </p><p>‘Aite Innie, ten cards, bitch. And no, we’re not allowing you to take ten shots.’</p><p> </p><p>‘But Chan hyung only had to take four for his twelve cards.’</p><p> </p><p>‘I’m your mother, kiddo. I can do whatever the hell I want!’</p><p> </p><p>‘This is a dictatorship and I want out.’</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> Soiuz nerushimyj respublik svobodnykh-’ </em></p><p> </p><p>‘Jisung, what the fuck are you on, mate?’ Felix declared in English, squinting at him. He then tried to ninja throw his cards at Jisung’s face. </p><p> </p><p>‘That's enough drinking for you.’ Minho pulled Jisung away from the low table everyone has crowded around. ‘No more Soviet National Anthem.’</p><p> </p><p>‘How does Jisung have it memorized?’ Hyunjin asked, staring at the table while having an internal crisis. ‘We looked it up as a joke. But he has it <em>memorized</em>-’</p><p> </p><p>‘Do you really want to go down that route, Jinnie?’ Minho challenged. ‘If we're talking about strange things we have memorized, let’s talk about how you have Seu-’</p><p> </p><p>‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH- Let’s not talk about the strange things I have memorized.’ </p><p> </p><p>‘I wanna know the strange things Hyunjin’s memorized. Proceed Minho hyung.’ </p><p> </p><p>‘Shut up, Seungmin.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Shut up, Hyunjin.’ The two of them were really close to each other, much closer than they had started, and only now had the both of them noticed. </p><p> </p><p>One <em> Fucking hell just kiss already, </em>and a rough shove to Hyunjin’s back later, Hyunjin found himself sprawled on top of Seungmin, faces inches from one another. </p><p> </p><p>‘Ho, yikes. Innie don't look.’ Changbin tried to cover Jeongin’s eyes. </p><p> </p><p>‘They’re just staring at each other. It’s not like they’ll actually accomplish anything. My innocents in is no danger.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Speaking of your innocence, Jeongin-’</p><p> </p><p>‘Let’s not and say we did-’</p><p> </p><p>The focus of the night was directed away from the two of them laying practically on top of each other and to when Jeongin was going to introduce his boyfriend (<em>he’s not my boyfriend</em>) to the rest of the group. </p><p> </p><p>‘Psst.’</p><p> </p><p>‘What Hyunjin? I’m right here, you don’t have to whisper. Also, get off. You’re heavy.’</p><p> </p><p>‘You’re pretty, Minnie. You’re really pretty. And I don't wanna move.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Guess I don't need to fucking breathe.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Nope. You don't.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Bitch, get offffffff.’ Seungmin tried wiggling his way out of Hyunjin's hold, but it was very half-assed, and he wasn't too disappointed when nothing changed.</p><p> </p><p>‘Goooooooooooodnight.’ Hyunjin then buried his head into Seungmin’s chest and knocked out instantly.</p><p> </p><p>‘Seriously, bitch? Ugh.’ Seungmin exhaled loudly, and whispered softly, ‘You’re pretty too. So fucking pretty.’</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Waking up sucked. It sucked so much, that he wanted to go back to sleep. His head hurt, everything was bright and loud and he was so comfy and warm. He wanted this to last forever, he never wanted to move-</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Click </em>
</p><p> </p><p>‘Did you seriously not put your phone on silent? He’s gonna wake up and beat our asses.’ Jisung?</p><p> </p><p>‘He’s gonna have to move first.’ Minho. That voice was definitely Minho. </p><p> </p><p>‘Hyunjin’s one of those rare gems that only get clingier when he wakes up.’ Woojin. Why was he so loud? He was trying to sleep here. Why was everyone in his room? ‘So even if he woke up, he’d have to manage to get Hyunjin off him if he was going to beat anyone’s ass.’</p><p> </p><p>‘What he’s saying is take more pictures.’ <em> Felix? Pictures? </em></p><p> </p><p>More clicking noises and a flash of bright light later, Seungmin finally forced his eyes open to see Minho, Jisung, Felix and Chan standing over them, all of them with phones out. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What...? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Then he realized his main reason for comfort, his main source of warmth, is a whole five-foot-ten Hwang Hyunjin. The boy is not only completely on top of him, but also completely wrapped around him. The only way to move was to either roll over and extract himself from Hyunjin’s death grasp, or to wake up Hyunjin, which is a feat within itself. </p><p> </p><p>‘Delete those, now!’ Seungmin hissed to his friends. </p><p> </p><p>‘Fat chance. You think you’re the only person with blackmail on us in this group.’ Jisung said, way too happy about the reverse situation they had all found themselves in. ‘I bet you Hyunjin doesn't remember what happened last night. Wouldn’t these be nice reminders?’</p><p> </p><p>'I get it, now go away!'</p><p> </p><p>'Kinda hard to do that as you two are in my living room.' Chan said, smiling.</p><p> </p><p>‘Left for dead, betrayed, abandoned, nobody cares about all the CONTENT and possible RECPEITS I have.’</p><p> </p><p>‘You don't scare me, Seungmin.’</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin eyed Felix. ‘Oh really? So it’s ok if I tell Chang-’</p><p> </p><p>‘On the other hand nevermind.’</p><p> </p><p>‘You just have to stop him from telling. Like this.’ Jisung then proceeded to shove a piece of toast into Seungmin's mouth, which he choked and sputtered on. Breathing was hard enough with a person on top of you, but it became near impossible with an additional piece of bread in your mouth. </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin somehow found strength deep down to shove Hyunjin away, which ended up in them rolling over, Seungmin now on top. He freed an arm and chucked his piece of toast at Jisung, hitting him in the chin. ‘Fucker.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Dang, someone’s moody this morning.’</p><p> </p><p>‘You nearly suffocated me! With Wonder bread!’</p><p> </p><p>‘Seungmin?’ A groan came from Hyunjin, who Seungmin was now sitting on. </p><p> </p><p>‘Morning, sunshine. How do you feel?’ Jisung asked. </p><p> </p><p>‘Like trash. I’m never playing uno ever again.’</p><p> </p><p>‘So you’ll drink, but not play uno?’ Seungmin asked. </p><p> </p><p>‘Yes. Can I die so I don't have to listen to Jisung anymore?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Hey!’</p><p> </p><p>Felix then popped into the living room. ‘Because Woojin hyung is amazing and loves us he made hangover soup for breakfast.’</p><p> </p><p>‘I knew I chose the right family to be adopted into.’ Jisung waltzed into the kitchen with his arm slung over Felix’s shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>‘What happened last night?’ Hyunjin asked, looking around the living room. </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin’s breath caught in his throat. ‘How much do you remember?’</p><p> </p><p>‘We were playing uno. And Innie was winning. And we were gonna gang up on him. I think. Did he win? No wait, Minho hyung won like four rounds in, the cheater. How do you cheat at uno?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Very carefully.’ Minho called, startling Seungmin. ‘Here. I had no idea how long it would take you two to make it to the kitchen. Thank Woojin hyung when you can.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Thank you hyung!’ Hyunjin shouted towards the kitchen. </p><p> </p><p>‘Seriously?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Welcome, child!’ he got back. </p><p> </p><p>‘So what happened after I knocked out?’ Hyunjin asked. </p><p> </p><p>The very brief conversation they had before they fell asleep flashed in Seungmin’s mind, as well as the position the others found them in earlier. He felt his cheeks heat up, so he had his face in his bowl, eating so Hyunjin wouldn't see his face. </p><p> </p><p>‘Nothing. Nothing else happened. You fell asleep. If anyone else says anything else, they’re a liar.’</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>When ur homie’s mixtape is trash: </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Chrib: jisung</p><p>Ji</p><p>Ji</p><p>Ji</p><p>@<strong>JONE</strong></p><p>Jisung</p><p>haan jisung</p><p> </p><p>Serarb: oh? A summoning party?</p><p>Jiji</p><p>Jiji</p><p>Jiji</p><p>Sungie</p><p>Sung</p><p>Jisung</p><p>HAN MOTHER FUCKING JISUNG</p><p> </p><p>JONE: WAT</p><p> </p><p>Chrib: stop making out with minho and get ur ass to the studio</p><p>We actually planned time out to crank today</p><p>And ur not here</p><p> </p><p>Searab: but we are</p><p>So</p><p> </p><p>JONE: sorry</p><p>I'm on my way</p><p>I didn't realize how late i’d be</p><p>I swear i'm going there now</p><p> </p><p>Chrib: NO RUNNING AND TEXTING</p><p> </p><p>JONE: yes mum</p><p> </p><p>Searab: in the meantime</p><p>Can we bully jisung for his thing with minho from saturday?</p><p> </p><p>JONE: can we bully chnagbitch for how fucking whipped he is for fexlix?</p><p> </p><p>Searab: listen here bitchass</p><p>I may be whipped</p><p>But at least i’ll admit it</p><p>And i have  a reason for most my actions</p><p>U</p><p>On the other hand</p><p> </p><p>JONE: u trying to pick a fite bro?</p><p> </p><p>Chrib: i don't see the point of this fight </p><p>I don't apprive</p><p>Request to fight jisung: denied</p><p> </p><p>Searab: favouritsm</p><p> </p><p>Chrib: Request to fight changbean: denied</p><p> </p><p>JONE: damn</p><p>Feelin the love</p><p> </p><p>Chrib: butjisung</p><p>Do you and minho have something going on?</p><p>You two seemed a bit weird at the gathering</p><p>Whether it be sexual tension or an argument</p><p>U know u can always tell us</p><p>Changbitch may judge you verbally</p><p>But you have full permission to retaliate</p><p> </p><p>Searab: hey</p><p> </p><p>JONE: nah we gukki</p><p>Thankc chad</p><p>chan*</p><p>I said something to make him a little weird the other day, but were past it now</p><p> </p><p>Searab: chad</p><p> </p><p>[Changbin changed Chan’s nickname to Chad]</p><p> </p><p>Chad: you change that right back young man</p><p> </p><p>Searab: absolutely not</p><p>But i agress with chad ji</p><p>We here for you</p><p>Kjchljdfdfjkglsf</p><p>That was gay</p><p> </p><p>Chad: bro</p><p> </p><p>Searab: yeah I knwp</p><p>Speaking of gay</p><p>Have you everconcitered minho having possible feelings for you sungie?</p><p> </p><p>JONE: hey tony where u get that fresh peparonii</p><p>sounds fake but ok</p><p> </p><p>Chad: while this is nice and sedimental and very masculine</p><p> </p><p>Searab: TOXIC MASICULINITY</p><p> </p><p>Chad: <em> why aren't you at the studio yet jisung </em></p><p> </p><p>JONE: RUNNING</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>To: Hwang Hyunjin</p><p>From: IT services</p><p>RE: Student account activity </p><p> </p><p>Hello Mr. Hwang - </p><p> </p><p>It has come to our attention that your student account has exhibited some out of the ordinary behaviour. We would like you to come in and verify if this was you, or if someone has compromised your account. You are by no means in trouble, we just want to make sure our system is secure and everyone is following policy rules. Please visit Mr. Choi, a staff member of IT, Monday afternoon. If you can’t visit him at the scheduled time, please respond to this email to reschedule. </p><p> </p><p>Thank you for your time - </p><p>JYP</p><p>Head of IT services </p><p>
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</p><p>
  <strong>Hyunjin -&gt; Seungmin </strong>
</p><p>SeungSeung halp I'M FUCKOED</p><p>[Your message could not be sent at this time. Please try again later.]</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Two can keep a secret if one of them is bread</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Felix - Suddenly Satisfied™ / NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN<br/>Seungmin - tech GOD<br/>Changbin - impaitnet<br/>Jisung - protractor<br/>Chan - mother<br/>Woojin - Antiplate Vaxer<br/>Jeongin - fav sun<br/>Hyunjin - dead meat<br/>Minho - hohoOH</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>District of no return: </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: so i found a pack of street cupcakes earlier today</p><p>Do they qualify t obe in the street bread collection?</p><p>
  
</p><p>mother: why wouldn't they?</p><p>Aren't pastries just sweet bread?</p><p>
  
</p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: technically</p><p>If you think about it</p><p>Then that extends to cookies and cakes and all pastries</p><p>And i've seen way too many street cookies in my life time</p><p>It makes me too sad to start a street cookies folder in my photoes</p><p>
  
</p><p>impaitnet: so what if you started a street pastries thing</p><p>Or a rip sad pastries collection</p><p>And it can be in commemoration of all the pastries that have died and deserved better</p><p>
  
</p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: binnie ur a jenuis 💙</p><p>
  
</p><p>tech GOD: i don't think thats how you spell ‘genius’</p><p>
  
</p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: hush heathen</p><p>These sad abandoned cupcakes will become the first entry</p><p>In my brand new</p><p>PADB collection</p><p>
  
</p><p>mother: wat</p><p>
  
</p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: Pastries Alltogether Deserve Better 🥐</p><p>
  
</p><p>tech GOD: wouldnt it be ‘pasteries that all together deserve better’?</p><p>PTATDB?</p><p>
  
</p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: no</p><p>Too many letters throw off my groove</p><p>
  
</p><p>tech GOD: so what does keyshmashing mean to a letterist such as yourself?</p><p>Asking for a friend</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Changbin -&gt; Jisung</strong>
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</p><p>Help i can't</p><p>Euargh</p><p>He's too adorable</p><p>Why</p><p>Why am i like this</p><p>Wirefkjdbrefdswebrg</p><p>Ok i'm over it</p><p>hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh</p><p>NO I'M NOT</p><p>
  
</p><p>U good bro?</p><p>
  
</p><p>AJLDSHFLNCLWIEUGEV UJB KFDMX</p><p>
  
</p><p>Aite then</p><p>
  
</p><p>Is</p><p>Is u good</p><p>Bro?</p><p>
  
</p><p>I guess</p><p>Yeah</p><p>
  
</p><p>You don't sound too good</p><p>Like</p><p>Shit</p><p>Not that way</p><p>actually</p><p>U sound off kiddo</p><p>like normally you’d make fun of me</p><p>and insult me in like 88 dofferent ways</p><p>for having feelings n shit but</p><p>Everything good?</p><p>
  
</p><p>Yes</p><p>No</p><p>Idfk</p><p>I just</p><p>hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh</p><p>Cn</p><p>Acn we meet up?</p><p>I wanna do this in person</p><p>
  
</p><p>Yeah</p><p>Yee</p><p>ocrsrr</p><p>💯👌👌💯👌💯🌮🎉</p><p>Just lmk when u wanna</p><p>Ill make tiem</p><p>
  
</p><p>Thnak bean</p><p>
  
</p><p>Gay</p><p>
  
</p><p>And so are u</p><p>
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  <strong>Chan -&gt; Changbin</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Hey hey</p><p>Binnie</p><p>U awake at this god forsaken hour?</p><p>Actually</p><p>I know u ar bitch</p><p>
  
</p><p>ah-HA-HA</p><p>2:13</p><p>What a wonderful time to be ALIvE</p><p>U caught me</p><p>Whassup</p><p>
  
</p><p>Has jisung seemed</p><p>A bit off to you ately?</p><p>
  
</p><p>He's usually off about something</p><p>Be a bit more specific</p><p>
  
</p><p>He seems not as </p><p>Jisung</p><p>As of late</p><p>I thought something was up a while ago</p><p>I thought it was jut depression</p><p>Or dtredd ot finals</p><p>*stress</p><p>But he seems even less</p><p>High energy and chaotic of late</p><p>Like he’s constantly drained </p><p>And last time he was like this</p><p>
  
</p><p>Yeah</p><p>I know</p><p>I asked him about it earliker</p><p>He said he didn't wanna do it over text</p><p>He anted to tel me inperson</p><p>Ill ask f he's gud with u joining </p><p>But Uh</p><p>
  
</p><p>No</p><p>Don't try to invite me</p><p>He’ll open up more if its just you</p><p>
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</p><p>U sure bro?</p><p>
  
</p><p>Yee</p><p>Have fun andstay safe</p><p>And know I’ll be in standby </p><p>
  
</p><p>0_\</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>jsquirrel</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p><b><br/>♥ 💭 ▶</b> <b>  </b></p><p>
  <b>1,537 likes</b>
</p><p><b>jsquirrel </b>idiot</p><p>       ⬇  <strong>bean_chang </strong>dont talk about urself like that</p><p>       ⬇  <strong>jsquirrel </strong>bold of you to assume I speak in third perosn</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>District of no return: </b>
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</p><p>Protractor: LISTEN HERE U MANGO FLAVOURED FUXK</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxer: And how do u know what Minho tastes like?</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: GROSS</p><p> </p><p>mother: what the fuck is happenig</p><p> </p><p>Impaitnet: scroll up</p><p> </p><p>mother: on second thought ill just stay loss</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: I am</p><p>Discussed</p><p>Révoltes </p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: Busted </p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: I've dedicated my life to my ord and saviour</p><p>AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: YEETS INTO DRYER</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: 🅱️lease tell me this is a stock photos and n ort something you took at the laundromat mat</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: no promosces</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: hey</p><p>It was cherry</p><p>Not mango</p><p>Get your lube flavours sorted seungie</p><p> </p><p>Protractor: Issuejskkasjsjjwsjskjsjsksksks</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: my eyes</p><p>Will never reCOVER</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: So It was you guys who I heard that one time at three am</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxer: Only once?</p><p>Consider yourself lucky</p><p> </p><p>Protractor: No</p><p>No you have not</p><p>Yo she rn heard ubecause we haven’t do an anything</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: Bro</p><p>🏳️</p><p>We’ve been known</p><p> </p><p>Protractor: DENY DENFY DENT</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: Dent?</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: U guys know we have no problem with u two getting together right</p><p>It’s cute</p><p>And endearing</p><p>ewe</p><p>Congrats🎉🎉🎉🎉🥳</p><p>But like</p><p>Be quiet in the wee hours of them morning?</p><p>Plz??</p><p> </p><p>protractor: Bro</p><p>How could u betray me like thisssssss</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: In his defiance</p><p>U two aren't exactly subtle</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: defiance</p><p> </p><p>protractor: 👀</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: Shutting up</p><p> </p><p>Dead meat: wait</p><p>Seungie and min are dating??</p><p>Am I the only one that didn’t know this?¿?¿</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: yes</p><p>Get with the times</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: uhhh welll</p><p>U see</p><p> </p><p>protractor: uhhhh</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: wat</p><p> </p><p>protractor: we’ve been doing more of a friends with benefits thing that we have been actually dating</p><p>In fact we decided neither of us really wanted to Label it</p><p>So we just</p><p>Kept it to ourselves because we mainly didn’t want any misunderstandings?</p><p>I guess</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: pretty much</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxer: so what are you guys then?</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: uhhhh</p><p> </p><p>protractor: yes</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: I guess this is why we never said anything to anyone</p><p>We didn't quite know how to ‘label’ it ourselves</p><p>So we really weren't sure what to say to others when they asked</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxer: got it</p><p>Sorry for asking</p><p>But i just hope you guys know this doesn't affect anything</p><p> </p><p>protractor: whaddya ye mean hyung?</p><p> </p><p>mother: he means we’ll still see you two the same</p><p>Just because you two sleep together sometimes doesn't mean either of you are any less of a friend to us</p><p>Nothing was weird when you started doing it right?</p><p>Its the same now as ti was then</p><p>Just</p><p>We know</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: just think back to when chan and woojin were kinda not really together</p><p> </p><p>mother: lets not</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: that was a dark time for all of us</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: shush</p><p>i mtrying to use your past suffering to make a point</p><p>It was weird a awkward, yeah</p><p>But thats becuase they made it weird and awkward and its know as That-One-Time-We-Don't-Speak-of</p><p> </p><p>protractor: what point are you trying to make binnie huyng?</p><p>I don't think its working</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: i'm tryign to say it was weird because they made it weird when we found out they stopped dancing and fliriting arounf with each other and finally both confessed</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: hyung</p><p>These guys are one cell life forms</p><p>U gotta say it in a way they understand</p><p> </p><p>protractor: translate o wise one</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: WHAT'S CONFUSING ABOUT WHAT I'M SAYING</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxer: why are we bringing up something i explicitly banned from being brought up?</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: woojin hyung,</p><p>It was weird to have all of us hang out becuase you two were used to not flirting in front of others</p><p>And you two took it way to far before you got used to where the boundaries should have been</p><p>Like</p><p>I never needed to know chan hyung calls you Woowoo in bed</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: I forgot about that</p><p>Thanks Felix 😑</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: ur welcome</p><p>But</p><p>Yeah</p><p>We made fun of them</p><p>And our overall opinion of them might have been slightly loweered due to their choice pet names</p><p>And kinks</p><p> </p><p>mother: hey now</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: ur an all star</p><p>💫</p><p>but their still our friends</p><p>Chads still my mum</p><p>And woowoo;s still me dad</p><p>And i don't love them any less for their questionbel choices or kinks</p><p> </p><p>mother: awwww felix</p><p>q_q</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxer: i take it bqck</p><p>Were disowing felix</p><p>Have fun on the streets kid</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: ill adopt you felix</p><p>But i think i get what your getting at</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: bless minho hyung, saving a poor soul like me from the foster system</p><p>But i refuse to call you</p><p>Mum, dad, parental figure</p><p>Mmmmmmm</p><p>You're more of the sied aunt that can't keep a stable job or relationship so they drink a lot</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: Woojin hyung youre right</p><p>The foster system it is for you kid</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: ji</p><p>Help a homie out here</p><p> </p><p>protractor: :/</p><p>Gotta go with my man on this one</p><p>Oog that was weird to saY</p><p>He knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy</p><p>That steamlined the adoption and return papers</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: nuuuuuuuUuuuuuuuuuuuUuuuuuUuuuuuUwUuuuuuuuu</p><p>What am i? Clothing merchandise? </p><p>Binnie</p><p>Binnie hyung halp</p><p>Ur my last resort</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: why am i your <em>last </em>resort?</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: Because he’s too embarrassed to ask otherwise </p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: wat</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: shhhhhh</p><p>Binnie adopte me 🥺☹</p><p>I’ll even make a special exception for you and call you daddy</p><p> </p><p>protractor: HAHAHAHAHA</p><p>U BROKE CHANGBIN</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: jhghn;p;kmn;'/.</p><p> </p><p>protractor: HE SEIZED UO AND IS NOW SCREAMING AT THE CELIBG</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: i did not Ask for this</p><p>All i wanted was to be adopted</p><p>But aside from breaking ChangChang and embarrassing the parents and second hand scarring everying including myself</p><p>You seee the point thats being made here? <b>@protractor @hohoOH</b></p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: yeah</p><p>I do</p><p> </p><p>protractor: yesh</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: seung, he’s trying to say it’ll be what we make of it</p><p>Act like it’s all normal around everyone and that’s what its gonna be</p><p>It’ll only be weird if we make it weird</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: And do know were all here for either of u hyung</p><p>As log as its not about ur sex life</p><p>the n u can fork off</p><p> </p><p>protractor: awwwwwwww innie</p><p>❤♥💜❤💘💖💖💕</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: gay</p><p> </p><p>protractor: just wait till u have a sex life innie</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: gfsdvcvbcuygb</p><p>Thats my not-really-son your talking about there han</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: uhhhh can we not</p><p>Talk about this?</p><p>Thank</p><p> </p><p>protractor: what about ur ‘i'm still emo despite being 19’ boyfriend???</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: a) he's not emo</p><ol>
<li>b) he’s not my boyfriend</li>
<li>c) he doesn't know i exist</li>
<li>d) HE'S A MINOR LEAVE HIM OUT OF THIS</li>
</ol><p> </p><p>Felix: is this a multiple choice test?</p><p>Ill choose a</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: d is the only one that sounds true</p><p> </p><p>protractor: ur just saying that because u wanna be emo changbean</p><p>But really under you two centermeterss of tough skin</p><p> is a ooey-gooey soft pokemon plush cuddling freckle loving BEAN</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: leave gyu out if this</p><p>aND SHUT</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: THAT WAS NOT A QIESTION</p><p>IT WAS FOUR INDIVIFIA STATMENTS</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: Bennie hyung likes freckles?</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: Felix now would be a great time to forget how to read</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: why else do you think Changbin always tries to hide your makeup?</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: wait.</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: one day Seungmin I swear</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: u’ll what?</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: ill-</p><p>I;ll</p><p>🏳</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: thats what i thought</p><p>Bitch</p><p>🔫</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Satisfied™: IS THAT THE REASON I COUNDNT FINd ANY OF IT THE OTHER DAY</p><p>WHIcH MADE ME LATE TO CLASS</p><p>WHIXH LEAD TO ME BEING CLAAED OUT</p><p>IN FRONT</p><p>OF</p><p>EVERYONE</p><p> </p><p>protractor: was that prof Kim? He always was a haedass </p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: wait </p><p>Felix listen </p><p> </p><p>[Felix changed their nickname to NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN]</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: AND THEN I WAS ROASTED BY MY CLASSMATES</p><p>FOR THE REST OF CLASS</p><p>AND ITS someTHING THEY STILL MENTPON</p><p>TO THS DSY</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: i didn’t know</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: so exposed</p><p> </p><p>protractor: shut bitch ur not helping</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: didn’t know what? </p><p>THAT HIDING MY STUFF WOULD MAKE ME LATE? ??</p><p>News flash fucker! </p><p>Putting things where THEY AREN'T NORMALLY FOUND MAKES PEOPLE HAVE TI DEWECH FIR THEM LONFHWR </p><p>WHICH MAKDE MEMAYE TO CLASS WHICH WAD AN EVENT TBAT OERNAMABTNARLY WCSTED ME</p><p> </p><p>mother: Felix </p><p>Sweaty </p><p>Calm down</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: NP I EULL NKF</p><p>
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  <b>Chan -&gt; Changbin </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Do you know where Felix is rn?</p><p> </p><p>Uhhhhhh</p><p>I thought he was either in class or in the library dying </p><p> </p><p>Are you free to go see him?</p><p>He’s pretty upset rn</p><p>And you have some explaining to do </p><p> </p><p>I swear I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THAT TO HAPPEN</p><p>I just thought if all the makeup was out of sight out of mind, kind of thing</p><p>That he wouldn’t focus on it as much</p><p>Because I know he gets super self conscious about it</p><p>Especially when people comment on it </p><p>Wether ir be good or bad</p><p>I just want him to be happy</p><p>And realise how fuxking pretty he is</p><p>So I moved it all behind the mirro</p><p>WHIXH took fuxking forever</p><p>He had SO MIXH FACEPAINT</p><p>but I thought if he coundnt find it he wouldn’t worry about it</p><p> </p><p>I see where this is going</p><p>But you can’t just rip the bandaid off like that</p><p>Korea is a much more judgemental society than most other places </p><p>If anything</p><p>He needs to ease into it</p><p>Not just stop</p><p>It’s more of a psyche thing that you realise bin</p><p> </p><p>Yeah</p><p>I see that now</p><p>And I feel dumb</p><p>Really dumb</p><p> </p><p>I’m glad you’ve repented</p><p>But I’m not the one who needs to hear it</p><p> </p><p>Fuxk your right</p><p>I was about to ask you where he was</p><p>And then remember how this conversation started</p><p> </p><p>I’d say check the library</p><p>Il see if Woojin knows</p><p> </p><p>Thank thank thank hyung</p><p>i owe ur ass</p><p> </p><p>u fucking ber u do</p><p>now go find ur ma n</p><p>
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  <strong>Changbin -&gt; Woojin</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Would you happen to know where our favourite pissed off freckles aussie is?</p><p> </p><p>As descriptive as you tried to make that</p><p>It still applies to both of them</p><p> </p><p>Mcxawlukeshfdjsoiuwesjf</p><p>Felix</p><p>Do you kno where felix is?</p><p> </p><p>Nope</p><p> </p><p>Hyung ;_;</p><p>Plz halp</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>😉</p><p> </p><p>Hyung ily thnk thank</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*ewe is pronounced: EEEE-we-eeeeee</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Fix it Felix, but Felix is Seungmin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Felix - NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN<br/>Seungmin - tech GOD<br/>Changbin - impaitnet / party crasher<br/>Jisung -  sexy sparkplug / party planner<br/>Chan - mother<br/>Woojin - Antiplate Vaxer<br/>Jeongin - fav sun / child of the party<br/>Hyunjin - dead meat<br/>Minho - hohoOH / yONkS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>HAPPY BORTHDAY FE</b>:</p><p> </p><p>party planner: I forgot this existed </p><p>But now</p><p>It’s needed</p><p>@<strong>party crasher</strong></p><p>You have some repenting to do</p><p> </p><p>party crasher: on my way working on it now </p><p> </p><p>child of the party: technically je told me not to tell I where he is</p><p> </p><p>party crasher: and U don’t have to break that promise </p><p>Iq already got insideninte and I know your together</p><p>At that one park we always sxrewawround in</p><p> </p><p>child of the party: 🤐</p><p> </p><p>party planner: imsxreenshotfong this and sending it to liz when he gets mad at us</p><p> </p><p><br/>
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</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Seungmin -&gt; Hyunjin</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Hey</p><p>Is everything ok?</p><p> </p><p>Yeah erethings good</p><p>You need something?</p><p>This is kinda funny actually</p><p>Usually its me asking you for something</p><p> </p><p>No nono</p><p>I'm good</p><p>Its just</p><p>U seemed quoter than usual</p><p>And i was wondering if you were feeling</p><p>Idk extra stressed or something</p><p> </p><p>What makes you say that?</p><p> </p><p>You just get quiet and pensive and kinda self destructibe when you think too much</p><p>I'm sorry if i was too rude earlier</p><p>About the minho and jisung thing</p><p>I thought everyone knew</p><p>But no one said anything because they nver brought it up</p><p>Which made it seem like they weren't ready to bring it up</p><p> </p><p>Oh</p><p>haha</p><p>No</p><p>Its no that</p><p>Yeah i do have a lot on my mind</p><p>But not about the minsung thing</p><p> </p><p>Care to share?</p><p>If u want</p><p>Or u think it’ll help</p><p> </p><p>No</p><p>Not really</p><p>I mean</p><p>I’m just stressed</p><p>Over finals And tests and projects and performances and the simentser coming to an end and getting everything done ont one and keeping up my grades  and </p><p>Yeah</p><p>I Don’t wanna add to your kid as well</p><p>I Know you’re taking like twice the mound of classes I am and yet you seem all calm and I too of stuff</p><p>Idk how you do it honestly </p><p>🎉🎉🎉</p><p>Sometimes I wish I was cool like u Minnie</p><p> </p><p>Dying because I’m stuck in a course I don’t really like?</p><p>There’s nothing really cool about that</p><p> </p><p>Not that</p><p>But you get all your stuff done</p><p>And you never seemed really stressed about everything</p><p>It seems like you have your life together</p><p>At least as together as a college student who’s taking 22 credits a semester can</p><p>But I thought you liked tech?</p><p> </p><p>I do</p><p>Just</p><p>Not as a major</p><p>I honk if I minored in it or just did it as a hobby I’d enjoy it more</p><p>But I’m not ‘cool’ or have my life together anymore than you do Jinnie</p><p>I’m just better at hiding the fact that my life is in shambles and everything around me is falling apart</p><p>It’s kinda depressing when I think about it so I Try not to</p><p>ugh</p><p>this was an attempt at me trying to make sure you were ok</p><p>but I just ended up ranting</p><p>i feel like a trash friend</p><p> </p><p>no dont say that minnie</p><p>ur a great friend</p><p>really</p><p>sometimes I wish I could do more for you</p><p>because you already do so much for me</p><p>and the rest of us</p><p>especially with your cool-fix-it-felix gig</p><p>except I guess you'd be fix-it-seungmin</p><p> </p><p>hmmm</p><p>that's not as catchy</p><p>maybe ill just ask felix if we can swap names</p><p> </p><p>nah</p><p>I like seungmin better than I do felix</p><p>keep ur name</p><p>we'll just have to come up with a better slogan</p><p>😊</p><p> </p><p>😊</p><p>thanks jinnie</p><p> </p><p>hey</p><p>uh</p><p> </p><p>? yee</p><p> </p><p>wold youj wan d go o e thdi weleenkd?</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry</p><p>ince more?</p><p> </p><p>would</p><p>u</p><p>wanna</p><p>gooutthisweknr</p><p>go out</p><p>this weekend</p><p>somewhere</p><p>with me</p><p>?</p><p> </p><p>XD</p><p>that was entertaining</p><p> </p><p>SETPO LIHGING AT ME MAYONF</p><p> </p><p>XDDDDDD</p><p>sure</p><p>where u wanna go?</p><p> </p><p>honeataly</p><p>i didn't think id get this far</p><p>give me a sec</p><p> </p><p>why not?</p><p>were friends</p><p>why would I not wanna go out with you?</p><p>i dont have any other plans</p><p> </p><p>ah right</p><p>I thought you were busy</p><p>or something</p><p>haha</p><p>uh</p><p>cafe? librbary?</p><p>PC repair store</p><p> </p><p>very funny -.-</p><p>there's that new pet cafe that opened up a few blocks from the school</p><p>wanna go there?</p><p>i think they have cats dogs and tutrles</p><p> </p><p>wtf turtles?</p><p> </p><p>yeah</p><p>🐢</p><p>smelly slow shelled fuckers</p><p>but according to the website,  they're for decoration and not interaction</p><p>which means they stay in their tanks</p><p>where they belong</p><p> </p><p>what caused you to have such  a strong vendetta against turtles?</p><p> </p><p>my drrk past</p><p> </p><p>edgy</p><p>so Saturday? at noon?</p><p> </p><p>sure</p><p>wanna meet at the school?</p><p>i might drag you to a pc parts store just to make you suffer while I look at DDR chips</p><p> </p><p>I take it all back</p><p>I suddenally don't wanna go out anymrere</p><p> </p><p>too late bitch</p><p>ur stuck with me</p><p>see u then~</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Hyunjin -&gt; Jisung</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>BOI I DID IT</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>District of no return: </b>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Fav sun: minho hyung</p><p>I gotta ask</p><p>I'm gonna regretti the spaghetti</p><p>Why are you addicted to weird porn?</p><p>Especially when you have someone to</p><p>Uh</p><p>Use an a sexual outlet</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: HA</p><p> </p><p>[Changbin changed Jisung’s nickname to sexy sparkplug]</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: BITXH</p><p> </p><p>hohoOH: its not like I get off to it</p><p>Its more morbid fascination</p><p>I'm gay for a readon</p><p>But a womand vaginal cavity is one of the greatest mysteries to me</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: i'm starting to regret asking</p><p>I'm queasy</p><p> </p><p>Sexy sparkplug: no, innie</p><p>I'm glad u asked</p><p>Plz contunitine hyung</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: yikes</p><p> </p><p>[Felix changed Minho’s nickname to yONkS]</p><p> </p><p>yONkS: think of it this way</p><p>When a baby is born its normally anywsere from 5-10 lbs</p><p>And anywhere from 8 in to a foot long</p><p>And i know the bby takes 9 months to be ‘created’</p><p>But rip at the pregernate lady</p><p>She has to carry basically a 8 lbs dumbbell in side of her for 3/4 of a year</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet : why on earth is that fascinating t you</p><p> </p><p>Mother: i gotta agree thinking about it too deeply makes me a bit queasy</p><p>Respect and all</p><p>But OOF GLAD I AINT A GIRL</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: mother</p><p>Is this ur way of telling us were adopted??</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxerr: it was about time you realized</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: top 10 shoujo betrayals</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: ts top 10 anime betrayals seungmin</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: bruh we live in a fucking shojo manga story thats badly animated and overly cheche</p><p>U can't convince me otherwise</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: u make a valid point that i refuse to acknowledge</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: i still dong get why minho hyung watch so much GODDAMN POR N</p><p>Can confirm he just watches the stuff</p><p>Like he would a horror movie</p><p>Pants stay on the whole tme</p><p>Hands above the waste</p><p> </p><p>yONkS: i gues i hink of strange porn like i do horror movies</p><p>Most of t hem are truly horrifying</p><p>There was one where some bitch got a balloon up her ass and someone managed to blow it up</p><p> </p><p>Fav sun: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH</p><p>Bleach<br/>
Myy eyes</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxer: i think thats enough for examples minho</p><p> </p><p>yONkS: rip sorry</p><p>But its like ASMR for felix or those weird ‘oddly satisifyng’ vidoes for hyunjin</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: oh</p><p>So a favourite past time?<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>yONkS: yee</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: BUT Y U GOTTA  WATCH IT WHEN WERE TOGETHER</p><p> </p><p>But mother: and thats a conversation you can take elsewhere</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: speaking of hyunjin</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: no one was</p><p>But</p><p> </p><p>Tech GOD: hush cretin</p><p>but its just</p><p>He’s usually glued to his phone</p><p>And would have said something stupid by now</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: you do make a valid point</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: damn don't sound so surprised now</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: Actually, i don't think i've heard anything from him all day</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: I just assumed he was busy</p><p>But normally one if us sees his gross face every day</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: no hyunjin sighting here</p><p>Come to think of it</p><p>I don't think he was in class yesterday</p><p> </p><p>mother: and u didn't say anything BECAUSE?</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: i guess i just assumed he got a cold and slept thought the whole day and then would complain about how miserable he is whe he woke up and expect us to all come over and pamper him like the princess he is?</p><p>i heard from him a few days ago</p><p>but I don't think  I ever reponeref to him</p><p>and left him on read</p><p>deadass</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxer: that was oddly specific for someone who feels guilty</p><p> </p><p>yONkS: in jiji’s defence, thats exactly what happened last time he was quiet for more then two hours</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: ill head over to his place after class</p><p>To make sure he’s still functional and breathing oxygen</p><p>There’s also s chance he just slept in</p><p>Really late</p><p>And is still asleep</p><p>Or the dumbass got sick</p><p>And didn't tell anyone</p><p>agaon</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>'a few more chapter' i said<br/>'i'll end it soon' i said<br/>HA<br/>i got carried away<br/>😃</p><p>i hope everyone is staying safe and healthy during this fuck-u-humanity time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Don’t call her boss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>==============================</p><p> </p><p>To: Bang Chan</p><p>From: Seo Yeji</p><p>RE: Student Checkup </p><p>Flagged: Urgent</p><p> </p><p>Hey Chan,</p><p> </p><p>If you have time, could you check in on a Hwang Hyunjin? He’s a second year, and I believe he lives on your floor, in unit 1206. It's a studio, otherwise, I'd tell you to check in with his roommate. You can either get a key from me or try the code 092200.</p><p>I heard he was supposed to check in with IT Monday, but they haven’t heard from him or have been able to reach him, and none of his professors have noticed his presence in class (not like any of them take attendance, most of their answers consisted of ‘I don’t remember’ or ‘I don’t think so’, so take it as you will). One of his friends named Seo Changbin popped in a second ago to see if he had been by recently and seemed worried when I said he hadn’t. Let me know if he gets back to you or if you find him. </p><p> </p><p>Thank you.</p><p>Seo Yeji</p><p>Housing and Student Life coordinator </p><p> </p><p>==============================</p><p> </p><p>To: Seo Yeji</p><p>From: Bang Chan</p><p>RE: Student Checkup</p><p> </p><p>Hi Boss - </p><p>I’m close with a few underclassmen in Hwang Hyunjin’s immediate friend circle, and they haven’t seen or heard from him within the past few days. I went and checked his studio, but he wasn’t there. It still looked lived in though (a mess, should I fail him on inspection, or does he get a pass?) but one thing of concern was his phone was left behind. I’ll reach out to his friends and see if they can reach out to his immediate family to see if he visited or had a family emergency.</p><p> </p><p>Your favourite RA,<br/>
Bang Chan</p><p> </p><p>==============================</p><p> </p><p>To: Bang Chan</p><p>From: Seo Yeji</p><p>RE: Student Checkup </p><p> </p><p>Chan, </p><p>Don’t call me boss. It makes me sound old. Also, try not to alarm anyone when you ask if others have seen Mr. Hyunjin. We don't want any rumours spreading around, nor any panic. That being said, with his phone being left behind, if no one hears anything from him within the next 72 hours we may have grounds to file a missing person’s report, which is a mess and a pain in itself. Lots of paperwork and angry officials that hate their job. </p><p>(Seeing as Mr. Hyunjin can’t be easily contacted at the moment, leave his inspection form blank, and make another RA re-inspect his space later.)</p><p> </p><p>Your boss only in status but not in name -</p><p>Seo Yeji</p><p>Housing and Student Life coordinator </p><p> </p><p>==============================</p><p> </p><p>To: Seo Yeji</p><p>From: Bang Chan</p><p>RE: Student Checkup </p><p> </p><p>On it Boss!</p><p> </p><p>==============================</p><p> </p><p>To: Bang Chan</p><p>From: Seo Yeji</p><p>RE: Student Checkup</p><p> </p><p>Thanks, Chan.</p><p>Don't call me boss!</p><p> </p><p>==============================</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>[Calling Changbin...]</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Chan Hyung? What’s up?’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p> ‘You went to go check out Hyunjin’s apartment, right?’</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘I was about to, I got a bit sidetracked. I’m heading there now-’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>‘I’m...I got an email from my boss. About Hyunjin.’</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Uh, good email? Or bad email?’ Is that the same lady I stopped to visit earlier?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>‘A check-on-this-resident-because-no-one-has-seen-them-for-the-past-few-days email. And yeah.’</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Oh fuck-’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>‘Changbin...Changbin, he’s not there.’</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘UHHHHHH-’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>‘Hyunjin’s not in his apartment, but his phone is.’</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>District of no return: </b>
</p><p> </p><p>mother: hey guys?</p><p>We have aN emergency </p><p>Meet at my dorm as soon as you guys can</p><p>The doors unlocked</p><p>Its about hyunjin</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Anyone catch that Hyunjins door code is Seungmins borthday?? 👀</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. ✨😊🎉🙅♂️👀🌸😚 has never looked so threatening</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Felix - NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN<br/>Seungmin - tech GOD<br/>Changbin - impaitnet<br/>Jisung - sexy sparkplug<br/>Chan - mother<br/>Woojin - Antiplate Vaxer<br/>Jeongin - fav sun<br/>Hyunjin - dead meat<br/>Minho - yONkS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Hey Seungmin, can you hack Hyunjin's phone?’ Was the first thing Seungmin was greeted with when he walked into Chan’s apartment. </p><p> </p><p>‘Don't need to. I know the passcode, give it here.’</p><p> </p><p>‘How do you know his passcode?’ Jisung asked over his shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>‘It’s the last few digits of his registration number. The dumbass thought it would be a good idea to make it his password so he would remember it.’</p><p> </p><p>‘<em>How the fuck do you know his registration number?</em>’</p><p> </p><p>‘It’s not that hard to figure it out if you know a person’s birthday and where they were born.’</p><p> </p><p>‘I never thought I’d say this, but you’re freaky Seungmin.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Thank, I guess. If it helps I have all of your registration numbers written down in an encrypted file somewhere on my hard drive. The only person I'm not too sure about is Minho hyung because I don’t know what hospital he was born at.’</p><p> </p><p>Jisung just stared at Seungmin. ‘<em>Bitch what the f-’ </em></p><p> </p><p>‘Can you also get into his apps? He password protected a bunch of them.’ Woojin said from behind the counter. </p><p> </p><p>‘I put my thumbprint into his phone when he was asleep one night.’</p><p> </p><p>Jisung’s eyes went wide again. ‘Why?!’</p><p> </p><p>‘Is there even a point in asking anymore?’ Minho asked. </p><p> </p><p>‘Incase he forgot and needed me to reset stuff, duh.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Ah, of course. Silly Jisung.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Don't judge me!’ Seungmin rolled his eyes. ‘He asked for me to reset his passwords often, and it just became easier to verify it that way instead of having to reset everything and waiting for a slow SMTP server to send out a password reset email-’</p><p> </p><p>‘Ok, we get it! Just, get us in.’</p><p> </p><p>Opening Hyunjin’s line revealed nothing unexpected, at first. The plethora of messages sent between all of them in the hell of a group chat they had was at the top, followed by a smaller group chat he was part of for a school club, and a bunch of ignored messages from individuals that none of them recognized the names of. </p><p> </p><p>‘Hey wait. This is a burner account.’ Seungmin pointed to one of the messages in his message history. ‘It doesn't have a profile picture and the name is just a random string. This happens when the account is marked as spam, or deleted improperly.’ </p><p> </p><p>‘So that means...’</p><p> </p><p>‘It’s not hard to make a Line account, all you need is an email and a password. They get verified through phone numbers. If someone came up with a fake email and a burner phone number, it's easy to fake a legit account. This account looks like it was one of those, and then deleted when it was done being used to make tracing anything harder. Or Line deemed it spam or as a malicious account and suspended it anyways.’</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin clicked on the deleted account and was surprised at the contents of the messages. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>098zxc56234jkdfiu34 -&gt; Hyunjin</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><em>✨ </em> <em>Come work for us ✨</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What you did to the university network was great. 😊 🎉 We’ll pay you great money to do it again </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> We won't take no for an answer 🙅♂️</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You haven't exactly been careful with your life 👀</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Everythings on social media </em>🌸</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Come to the warehouse on the corner of 5th and south </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Or the pretty friend you care about so much might just disappear... </em>😚</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>‘I don't know what’s more disturbing.’ Jisung spoke up. ‘The fact that they threatened Hyunjin or the fact that they used stickers and emoji’s while threatening him.’</p><p> </p><p>Despite Jisung’s attempt at humour, all Seungmin could hear was a ringing in his ears. It was all <em>his fault </em>that Hyunjin got into this mess. HE was the one who accidentally got that virus into the school system (technically the root of the problem was Minho, who gave Hyunjin’s old laptop the stupid virus in the first place. RIP.) </p><p> </p><p>‘Seungmin. Hey, earth to Seungmin. Hellooooo there? You trackin’?’</p><p> </p><p>‘It’s all my fault.’ He muttered. </p><p> </p><p>‘Hey hey hey, none of that.’ Jisung squatted down so he could be eye level with him. ‘If anything it was Hyunjin’s fault for saying nothing to us.’</p><p> </p><p>‘If anything, they probably threw him out of their secret base once they realized how bad he is with computers.’ Changbin jested, but it only made Seungmin feel worse. </p><p> </p><p>What <em>would </em>happen once they realized they had the wrong kid? Would they force him to stay anyways? Would they lock him away deep within a warehouse, left to starve, forced to be a janitor, or running sketchy errors for them such as being a drug mule? What if they just straight-up killed-</p><p> </p><p>‘NOPE.’ His brain was not going there. He wasn’t going to let it. </p><p> </p><p>‘So what do we do?’ Jeongin asked the question that was weighing on everyone's mind.</p><p> </p><p>‘As the RA here,’ Chan started slowly, ‘<em> technically </em>I’m obliged to report all of this. Boss was going to file a missing persons’ report if we haven't found him within three days, but that's a lot of work for both her and me, and it’ll worry everyone, including his family. Plus, it gets the legal department involved, and I don't think we really want to do that. At least not yet. Seungmin, I know what you're thinking, and no, you're not going after him alone.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Hyung, just listen-’</p><p> </p><p><em> ‘No</em>. That's an absolute. We’ll figure something out, but no one is going after Hyunjin alone when he could be with a bunch of dangerous people. That’s the exact reason I’m nervous to get the authorities involved. We don’t know what we’re dealing with.’</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin wanted to be mad. No, he was mad. Why couldn’t they just let him do his own thing? All of them, they would-</p><p> </p><p>‘I know we might not be of much help in the scouting category,’ Felix started, ‘But we’ll help wherever we can, even if it’s just feeding your needy ass.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Operation complete the 00 line, commence!’</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>=====================</p><p>‘Jisung, grab me that extension cable. The black one, not the blue one.</p><p> </p><p>‘Changbin, hand me that ethernet cord. No, that's a power cable. Ethernet. The one you plug into a landline or at the back of a desktop computer. It's shaped like a square with the corners cut out. No that’s an HDMI, and the one next to it is a DVI, no not that- know what. Watch the screen and I’ll grab it. Yell if anything changes. God, you’re such a <em> boomer. </em></p><p> </p><p>‘Woojin hyung, can you check the router? Just take a picture of the front of it and let me know what lights are blinking.</p><p> </p><p>‘Jeongin, can you throw these away for me? Thanks.</p><p> </p><p>‘Jisung! Get me my power bank. You’ve borrowed it enough you know what it looks like.</p><p> </p><p>‘Felix, come here, please. Sit here and watch the screen. See that red dot? That’s my phone. I’m gonna go outside. Track the movements so I can gauge how accurate it is.</p><p> </p><p>‘Chan hyung! I’m gonna video call you once I’m outside. Share the feed with Felix. Let me know how accurate it is.’</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin let out a loud sigh once he started walking around the block. He has just spent the past few hours creating a tracking application that could not only track the movements of his phone but record and send its location when needed. Once he did that, he tried to track down whoever once owned the deactivated line account, but it was near impossible, the only thing that left Seungmin to go off was the warehouse location that they sent Hyunjin. </p><p> </p><p>All he had been able to find was whose name the property deed was under. As far as to use, the warehouse seemed to be abandoned and empty, a perfect place to recruit a threatened student. </p><p> </p><p>What Seungmin wanted to do was barge in and demand his friend back. But the way Chan did things, they could be anyone from a bunch of tree-hugging basket weavers to a mafia-like gang that would shoot him in sight for barging in uninvited. </p><p> </p><p>His plan was still to go alone, it was his fault and no one should have to suffer for his actions. But if he set up his phone correctly, it would broadcast everything it picked up to his desktop back in his dorm: his location, audio snippets, video clips (granted they probably wouldn’t look like much because his phone was deep in his pocket). Hopefully, <em> that </em>would be enough proof to get the authorities on their side, or someone with enough power to do something, yet kind enough to help a bunch of college kids. </p><p> </p><p>How long had Hyunjin been missing? He stopped replying three or four days ago, had he been missing ever since? Why hadn’t the dumbass <em>said </em>anything? ‘Hyunjin if you die I’ll personally kill you.’</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>District of no return: </b>
</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: how’s the location tracking looking?</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: the dots moving</p><p>We’re trying to confirm if it’s accurate</p><p>Can you look around with your camera?</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: sure</p><p> </p><p>mother: aim it more to your left</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: I think this thing is pretty accurate</p><p>Ur at the park across from the river</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: wow Felix</p><p>It’s like this is the only park by the river</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: shut</p><p>Idk the name of anything</p><p>I can’t fucking read the strange ass looking heiroglyohs korean is</p><p> </p><p>mother: it’s cheongdam park right?</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: Yee </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin was exhausted, but since all his tech seemed to be working, he could no longer wait. He’d be getting Hyunjin back tonight. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. He hacked the motion sensors</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Felix - NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN<br/>Seungmin - tech GOD<br/>Changbin - impaitnet<br/>Jisung -  sexy sparkplug<br/>Chan - mother<br/>Woojin - Antiplate Vaxer<br/>Jeongin - fav sun<br/>Hyunjin - dead meat<br/>Minho - yONkS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The warehouse was almost more underwhelming than Seungmin was expecting. It was in a dark, poorly secured lot surrounded by a sagging chain-link fence that was easy to crawl under. The doors were secured by a rusty chain and padlock that was easy to cut open. Seungmin, despite being riddled with nerves and in a super paranoid headspace, was almost looking forward to the challenge of breaking in. He’d brought all of his cool tools (his lockpick set, a bolt cutter, a small welding kit, a blow torch, some road flares, matches, and tinfoil) but now he was considering just leaving his bag outside. </p><p> </p><p>The inside was mostly empty, save for a few boxes and wooden pallets shoved against the walls. There were probably surveillance cameras somewhere within the building, but since he wanted to get caught there was no use in avoiding or deactivating them. </p><p> </p><p>Now, he waited. This was the step he was the most uncertain of. What if they never showed up? What if they shot him on sight? What if they just locked him in there, and let him starve to death? What if his friends followed him, and they end up getting caught, and everything turns into a bigger mess?</p><p> </p><p>Being alone for too long was never a good thing for Seungmin, it left him alone with his thoughts and his head too much time to run with bad ideas that would make him spiral. That’s what Hyunjin was amazing at. Never leaving Seungmin alone for too long, despite the many times he pushed him away. But he always pushed people away because he didn’t want them to realize how much he cared, how much he truly needed them. But Hyunjin, Hyunjin was always there for him, even when he made it seem like he was unwanted. If they both got out of this alive, Seungmin swore to himself he would let Hyunjin know how much he really meant to him. </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin was really doubting anything would happen, maybe he came too late? It felt like forever (it had been forty minutes) and nothing had happened yet. He debated going outside and setting off-road flares when something moved. </p><p> </p><p>‘Don’t you know you’re trespassing kid? If you leave now I won’t press charges.’</p><p> </p><p>Oh fuck, <em> they were here </em>. You can do it, you can be brave. Hyunjin, do it for Hyunjin, Seungmin. </p><p> </p><p>‘Hey kiddo, did you-‘</p><p> </p><p>‘You have my friend.’ He choked out.</p><p> </p><p>The owner of the voice stopped, surprised. ‘Excuse me?’</p><p> </p><p>‘You took my friend. And I want him back.’</p><p> </p><p>‘You’re awfully cute, kid, but if you think-‘</p><p> </p><p>‘You threatened Hwang Hyunjin into joining your group. Where is he?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Hyunjin?’ A new voice from the corner asked.</p><p> </p><p>‘The new computer kid. Zeta team, quiet.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Oh shit, the kid had friends?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Shhh, that’s rude.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Let Hyunjin go.’ Seungmin spoke up, anger fueling his words. Why wouldn’t he stop shaking? </p><p> </p><p>‘Listen, kid.’ The first voice spoke up. He seemed to be the leader of the warehouse gang. ‘Your friend did a bad thing, and we're getting him out of trouble. If anything you should be thanking us.’</p><p> </p><p>‘No! It wasn’t him! I- it was me. Hyunjin didn’t do anything.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Is this kid ok?’ One of the voices from the corner of the warehouse tried to whisper.</p><p> </p><p>‘Shut up, Jackson.’</p><p> </p><p>‘But tell me you understand what’s happening.’</p><p> </p><p>‘He’s trying to trade himself in for his friend, the kid we picked up.’</p><p> </p><p>‘How did you pick all that out?’</p><p> </p><p>‘I have a working brain, dingus.’</p><p> </p><p>‘I feel insulted!’</p><p> </p><p>‘Good!’</p><p> </p><p>‘Quite!’ The leader boomed. His command was so much louder than the attempted whispering. ‘Explain.’</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin was sweating. He really didn’t want to do this anymore. Why couldn’t instant teleportation be a thing already? ‘You mentioned you were bailing Hyunjin out of trouble. That’s not true. The virus, the thing that took down the school’s network, that was an accident. It all happened through Hyunjin’s student account, which is why IT thought it was him. He was supposed to meet with them a few days ago, and I was going to take the blame for everything and offer to work with them to fix it, but then he went missing, and never reported it to student services, and they think he’s running away because he’s guilty. It’s not his fault, it’s mine. So let him go and take me in his place.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Do you realize what you are asking us to do here?’</p><p> </p><p>‘A bunch of people know I’m here. I’m being tracked, and everything you’ve said has been recorded and sent to a server. It picked up a name and it’s running voice analytics to see if it can identify any of you. I’ll figure out who you are, and I’ll turn you all in for kidnapping.’</p><p> </p><p>‘You're just as much of a pain as the other one.’ He sighed. </p><p> </p><p>That made Seungmin nervous. What did Hyunjin do? Was he even still alive? Oof no. No no no nononononono don’t go there. That thought made him nauseous. </p><p> </p><p>‘Leave your phone and everything else here and follow us.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Wait, JB, why-'</p><p> </p><p>‘If the kid really has everything set up as he said, it’d be best to shut up.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Shutting up.’</p><p> </p><p>The leader walked out of the warehouse, his lackeys in the corners slowly following. Seungmin knew he was outnumbered, but he didn't know by how much. He sat his phone and backpack down at his feet and followed. As soon as he stepped out of the dark warehouse and into the dim moonlight, something was shoved into his face. He tried to sidestep, to twist away from it, but someone came up from behind him and held him in place. This wasn't supposed to be happening, this was bad. Really bad. He was going to die here because he pissed off the wrong people, Hyunjin would be forever gone, and all his friends would hate him for doing exactly what they told him not to do. His last conscious thoughts were filled with regret and apologies. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>‘-min, Seungmin! Minnie!’</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hey I know some of these words. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin slowly woke up with a headache. <em>Is this what a hangover feels like?</em> <em>Thanks, I hate it. </em>But the first thing he registered after he was more or less awake was a concerned-looking Hyunjin hovering over him. </p><p> </p><p>‘Go away, five more minutes.’ He rolled to face away. </p><p> </p><p>‘Minnie, no! Wake up! What are you doing here? Where is everyone else? Are they ok? They haven't done anything to the others, right?’ He grabbed Seungmin’s shoulder and rolled him on to his other side. </p><p> </p><p>‘Jinnie what...wah...Jinnie!’ The realization that a whole Hwang Hyunjin was in front of Seungmin, looking mostly unharmed and in one piece, sent his brain into overdrive and he tackled the unsuspecting boy in a hug. After a minute of the two making sure they didn't fall to the floor, Seungmin grabbed his face. ‘Are you ok? What did they do to you? They didn't-‘</p><p> </p><p>‘Seungmin-‘</p><p> </p><p>‘- hurt you right? Why did you just-‘</p><p> </p><p>‘Seungmin!’</p><p> </p><p>‘- disappear? Don't you know how worried we were? Did you ever think to-‘</p><p> </p><p>‘Minnie!’ Seungmin stopped and finally looked at Hyunjin. ‘I’m ok. They haven’t done anything to me. They’re not bad people. Now explain why you’re here!’</p><p> </p><p>‘Jinnie-’</p><p> </p><p>‘No, listen to me! I went with them because they said they could get me out of trouble. Even if I didn't do anything, I could still take the blame for it. I didn't want you to get in trouble for something you didn't do-’</p><p> </p><p>‘But I did-’</p><p> </p><p>‘So I accepted their offer. That way you would get off and I’d find some way to elude any blame. So why are you here?’</p><p> </p><p>‘You left without saying anything!’ Seungmin exploded. ‘You just stopped responding, and then you weren't in your apartment or class, and you never go radio silent. You <em> didn't say anything </em>. What were we supposed to think? We all thought something bad happened like you got kidnapped by some gang and was going to be human trafficked to china or if someone stabbed you in an alleyway and bleed out but was found by someone and then forced your to change your name and forget about of all of us-’</p><p> </p><p>‘Hey, hey, Minnie, I hope you know none of those things would ever happen, right?’</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin inhaled a shaky breath. ‘I’m just glad you’re ok. We were all worried. <em> I </em>was super worried. Why did you just...disappear?’</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin frowned. ‘I already told you, because-‘</p><p> </p><p>‘I heard you, and that’s stupid. Do you realize what you did? You ran away after IT called you out about breaking something. That makes you look <em> guilty. </em> I was planning on helping you clear it up but then you went and disappeared.’</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin opened his mouth as if he was going to argue back but then stopped. ‘I’m really sorry, Seungmin. I guess I got scared when I saw the email and panicked, and then these guys messaged me, and all I could think about was how much trouble you’d get in if they ever-‘</p><p> </p><p>‘How much trouble <em> I’d </em>get in? You were the one they suspected!’</p><p> </p><p>‘Yeah know that now! But that thought didn’t cross my mind at the time!’</p><p> </p><p>‘Why wouldn’t it? It was your student account! Why could have made you so concerned that you left with some sketchy cyber justice warriors-‘</p><p> </p><p>‘Because I care about you!’ Hyunjin exclaimed, ears turning a vibrant shade of red. ‘I care about you so damn much your safety was the only thing I could think about when <em> I got in trouble for something you did. </em> I wasn’t worried about me, but you! That outing I asked you out on? I wanted it to be a date! But then you basically low-key friend-zoned me and I chickened out from calling it a date last second and I-'</p><p> </p><p>He was interrupted by a knock at the door, followed by a blond head popping in the doorway. ‘Hey, hope I’m not interrupting anything. Boss wants to meet with the two of you. Like, now.’</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin just nodded and got up to follow the kid. ‘This conversation isn’t over.’ He muttered to Hyunjin. ‘Let’s go.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>District of no return </b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: Aite fuckers whos awake</p><p> </p><p>yONkS: who the fuck would be awake a tt his ungodly hour?</p><p>Other then the spawn of satan himself</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxer: you two apparently</p><p>its 9 am</p><p>Also</p><p>Were all in the same dorm</p><p>So </p><p>For why reason are you texting in here</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: low key emergency</p><p>Seungmin’s not in the bed he fell asleep in last night</p><p>And his phones gone</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxer: THAT IS NOT A LOW KEY EMERGENCY </p><p>THAT IS WAKE EVERYTONE THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW EMERGENCY</p><p> </p><p>yONkS: JISUNG I'M RIGH T NEXT TO YOU WHY DID I HAVE T O FIND OUT THROUGH HERE</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: listen</p><p>I panicked and i'm lazy</p><p>I wanted to try to use the tracking thing he set up</p><p>But the screens black and i'm scared to touch it</p><p>I don't wanna explode it</p><p> </p><p>mother: iosdkfjm,jiklwdsiujhbvcfr</p><p>KJGURI,,XMCNVFEJWKNEFM,KJHRN</p><p> </p><p>yONkS: good morning to you too</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxer: i just woke him up</p><p>And made him read</p><p>And he ran into the bathroom</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: its too early to exist i resent all of you</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: fe seungmin’s AWOL</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: OH SHIT</p><p>I'm waking up bin</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxer: wake up innie roo</p><p>Ill make breakfast</p><p>Aand ill get chan on getting the tracking thing to work</p><p> </p><p>mother: has anyone tried calling seingmin</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: no</p><p>But if he really went after hyunjin he wouldnt answer anyways</p><p>He doesn't answer out calls normally</p><p>And he only responds to texts whe n he feels like it</p><p> </p><p>mother: right</p><p>well I'm up and looking at he screen thingty</p><p>and the dot's in the middle of nowhere?</p><p>wait hole on</p><p>google maps exists</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxer: whatdoesthat meeewan?</p><p> </p><p>mother: doesanyon e have the address the sketcy people sent hyunjin?</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: yeah</p><p>seungmin</p><p> </p><p>mother: anyone else?</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet : isn't it in his phone?</p><p> </p><p>mother: who else knows his passcode / has their thumbprint in his phone</p><p> </p><p>yONKS: I swear</p><p>they're so gay</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: didn't we write it down somewhere?</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: check around the computer desk</p><p>seungmin had a bunch of posted notes</p><p>it might be on one of those</p><p> </p><p>mother: FOUND IT</p><p>o shit</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: wat</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxer: ?</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet : bro u cant keep us waiting like this</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>'Everyone in the living room!' Chan shouted. It took a few minutes, but eventually, all the boys were sitting around the computer desk area Seungmin had makeshifted in Chan's/Minho's/Woojin's/Jeongin's dorm in various forms of mixed pj's and actual clothes. 'Seungmin's phone signal is coming from the warehouse address Hyunjin was sent a few days ago. And if I'm reading this right, he's been there all night.'</p><p> </p><p>'He's not dead, right?' Jeongin asked.</p><p> </p><p>'Hopefully, he's just staking out the place?'</p><p> </p><p>'Let's eat something, and then all head down to the warehouse to see if he's still there. If not, I'm calling the police.' Chan said. </p><p> </p><p>'But, wait. Chan hyung-'</p><p> </p><p>'I know, Jisung. Seungmin said not to. But instead of just one of them missing, two of them are gone, and Seungmin was the only one with any kind of lead. I'd rather have them both safe and found with legal issues, then lost.'</p><p> </p><p>'How about-' Woojin started. 'I know, I hate this as much as you do, but let's wait twenty-four hours. If we can't find anything on him or hear anything from him, we'll go to the police. Plus, even if we were to go now, they would ask how long he's been missing. They don't consider it a missing person case unless someone's been missing for a few days. Seungmin's barely been gone for twelve hours. They won't do anything than ask us nonsense questions and tell us to come back if we can't find anything. Even then, he'll just become another record in they're missing person's database.'</p><p> </p><p>Chan sighed. 'Fine. But any longer, were reporting both him and Hyunjin.' </p><p> </p><p>'We're all worried, hyung.' Felix said. 'But let's focus on finding the warehouse, and figuring out Minnie's program thing to see if there's any useful information in it.' </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. To the meeting room... which is now a game room</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The last thing Seungmin was expecting was that the gang? Group? Posse? Would take him to the kitchen and feed him. He and Hyunjin followed the blond kid from earlier and were shocked to see a kitchen table with warm food on it. </p><p> </p><p>‘You’re probably both hungry, eat something.’</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin wondered if this was some sort of mental test, seeing how long they would hold out when food was placed in front of them, or what if they poisoned any of it? What if they-</p><p> </p><p>‘Minnie, stop just staring at it, eat. Jaebeom hyung cooks good food.’</p><p> </p><p>Great, and now Hyunjin was on a first-name basis with his kidnappers. </p><p> </p><p>The food was good, or maybe he was just that hungry. ‘So what’s going on here?’</p><p> </p><p>‘I’m not the best person to explain things.’ The blond kid started. ‘But basically were like some kind of underground cyber warriors group. The stunt one of you pulled on your school’s network caught our attention. Our leader, JB, has been trying to break into their network for like a week, and then we saw whatever you did to it...whatever you did, it was amazing, but you both have a lot of trouble coming your way. So he decided to step in and look into who did it. This kid-’ He pointed to Hyunjin. ‘-was the one who’s profile came up when we looked further into it, so we tried to pull him out of harm’s way. He’ll be safe here, as sketchy as we may seem.’</p><p> </p><p>‘So what was with all the threats?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Threats?’</p><p> </p><p>‘The threatening Line messages about how you’d go after his friends if he didn't work with you.’</p><p> </p><p>The blond kid looked confused for another moment, and then, ‘Ugh, those <em>brats. </em>Two of our youngest members were in charge of trying to recruit your friend. I guess they took things too far when they-‘</p><p> </p><p>‘Too far? <em> Too far</em>? They threatened Hyunjin and his entire-‘</p><p> </p><p>‘Minnie, Minnie.’ Seungmin didn’t realize he had stood up until Hyunjin pulled him down. ‘It’s fine. It was a misunderstanding.’</p><p> </p><p>‘I’ll speak to them about recruiting kids in the future. In the meantime, stay here, and I’ll go fetch JB so he can fully explain everything to you better than I can.’ With that, the blond kid stood up and left, leaving the other two in silence. </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin could tell Hyunjin wanted to say something, but kept silent as if he couldn’t think of the right thing to say or the right way to word it. By the time he had worked up the courage to say ‘Seungmin-‘ he was cut off by the blond boy coming back with two other men. </p><p> </p><p>‘I’m JB, the head of this organization-’</p><p> </p><p>‘-isn't calling it an organization a bit of a stretch?’ the third man with pink hair asked. </p><p> </p><p>‘It’s more of a disorganized mess-’</p><p> </p><p>‘I didn't fucking ask, shut. As I was saying-’</p><p> </p><p>‘He has very little authority around here. We mainly use him as the face and the scapegoat.’ Pink hair said. ‘I’m Young k-’</p><p> </p><p>‘Hey, Brian, have you seen Dowoon?’ Another tall kid in glasses entered the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>‘Don't call me Brian!’ <em> Young k’s </em>face blossomed with red.</p><p> </p><p>The blond kid was right, this place was a mess. To think Seungmin was scared of them at one point time was almost laughable. </p><p> </p><p>‘I can’t deal with this,’ JB sighed. ‘Either all of you shut up or get out. I’m dealing with important business here!’</p><p> </p><p>‘Since when is <em>important business </em>done in the kitchen? Don't we have a conference room?’ Glasses asked.</p><p> </p><p>‘Yeah, we did. But we renovated it into the game den a few months ago because it was being unused.’ Brian said.</p><p> </p><p>JB looked like he wanted to bash his head into the kitchen table. ‘Well, tell everyone to meet in the ‘‘game room’’ in five. We all need to sit down and discuss-’</p><p> </p><p>‘Is there really anything important that still needs to be gone over...sir?’ At another interruption, JB looked like he wanted to strangle someone, but seeing as it was Hyunjin that spoke up, his expression softened visibly. </p><p> </p><p>‘It’ll be more for us than it will for you. Follow me, I’ll lead you there.’</p><p> </p><p>The meeting room turned game room was what Seungmin expected a modern-day man cave to look like, a mess. There was a large couch covered in blankets, clothing articles, and various console controls, a tv stand with a giant television and many consoles stacked underneath it, posters of various kpop girl groups and 80’s boy bands, a bookshelf stacked with movies, games, and...was that a switch? Yeah, it was a forty-eight port cisco switch with every single port being occupied by an ethernet cable. The cables branched out in every direction, some just hanging out of the top shelf where it rested, others were taped and pinned to the wall, some cables disappearing into the ceiling.</p><p> </p><p>‘I see you appreciate our set up.’ Brian said from behind him.</p><p> </p><p>‘It’s an absolute disaster.’ Seungmin said before he could filter himself. ‘Is it at least colour coded?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Not in the slightest.’ Glasses kid said. ‘But since Brian helped set it up, it’s now his child and he refuses to have any of us touch it.’</p><p> </p><p>‘He didn't even do most of the work! All he did was plug stuff in!’ Youngjae complained.</p><p> </p><p>Brian looked offended. ‘Hey, I did most of the wiring!’</p><p> </p><p>‘No, you didn’t. Jinyoung and Youngjae did.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Lies.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Who hooked up the switch to the server room, huh? Who configured the main switch? Who drilled the holes into the <em> goddamn wall-’ </em></p><p> </p><p>‘Fine, <em>fine</em>, ok, I get it.’</p><p> </p><p>‘You have a server room?’ Seungmin tried to keep the interest out of his voice, but he knew it was there, along with the curiosity in his eyes. He had never worked on a live server, all he had done was simulate virtual hardware with various programs used in classes. </p><p> </p><p>‘Yeah, it’s a bit of a mess like everything else at the moment though. One of the shelves Dowoon installed decided to die, so there's more stuff on the floor than there is floor space.’ Glasses said. </p><p> </p><p>‘And who’s responsible for cleaning the server room?’ Another person accused, a new face coming through the door and situating themselves in a beanbag in the corner. </p><p> </p><p>‘Can we have that argument later?’ JB asked, rolling his eyes. ‘Someone go fetch the twins. I know they’re here.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Nose goes.’ Bean Bag kid shouted.</p><p> </p><p>‘I nominate Mark hyung.’ Youngjae said.</p><p> </p><p>‘I thought he was out with Jackson.’</p><p> </p><p>JB snorted. ‘He’s coming back with Jackson. I called everyone in for this.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Everyone, everyone? Like, Seungjin hyung everyone?’</p><p> </p><p>‘AND Jinyoung.’</p><p> </p><p>‘I’ll go get the kids.’ Glasses breathed out and ran out the door.</p><p> </p><p><em> Kids?  </em> Seungmin thought. <em>Do they</em> <em>have kids in this kind of environment? </em></p><p> </p><p>A few moments later, Glasses, or Jae as Youngjae called him earlier, returned with two lanky men that looked younger than most the company there, but definitely not children. The three of them seemed to be engaged in some sort of intense argument, but any attention to it quickly shifted to the other young man following the trio in through the door.</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin nearly choked. ‘Wonpil hyung?’ What was his older cousin doing here?</p><p> </p><p>Wonpil balked. ‘Min? Why are you here?’</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin pulled on the sleeve of Seungmin’s shirt. ‘You know him?’</p><p> </p><p>‘We’re cousins.’ Everyone seemed surprised by the news. Wonpil shook off the initial shock and swept up Seungmin in a hug which was joyfully returned. Seungmin’s aunt had not been the greatest of people, and her child-raising skills were very lacking. When Seungmin’s mother would bring him over to his aunt’s house for weekly visits, only did he realize a few years later that it was mainly to check up on Wonpil, to make sure he was still cared for and alive. Seungmin’s mother had threatened to take Wonpil away from his aunt if she didn't take better care of her child, to which she just moved away. It took two years for his mother to find her sister again, but by then, Wonpil had run away, and no one was able to locate him. After the first year of being missing, he was assumed dead by his immediate family. Seungmin was sad, Wonpil was the only one of his cousins he ever interacted with growing up, and he even thought he was his only cousin for a while. So to suddenly see him <em> here </em>, alive and well, breathing-</p><p> </p><p>It hit him all at once. Seungmin tried blinking back the tears that had formed, but that only seemed to make it worse. His nose became the embodiment of Niagara falls and if he tried to say anything, it would come out as a sob.</p><p> </p><p>‘Minnie?’ Hyunjin asked, concerned. ‘You...you good?’ All Seungmin could do was nod.</p><p> </p><p>‘What just happened?’ The taller one of the ‘kids’ stage whispered. </p><p> </p><p>Wonpil looked up, ‘You know how I ran away from home? My aunt would visit my mum and bring Seungmin with her, we basically grew up together. But then my mother got annoyed and moved away so my aunt couldn't find us. She regressed into her addictions and issues harder then ever so I ran away from home.’ He sat down on the couch next to Hyunjin and pulled Seungmin with him. ‘I never reached out to my aunt or uncle or Seungmin to let them know I was fine though. It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.’</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin sniffed. ‘They said you were dead.’</p><p> </p><p>Silence filled the room, which was broken by four more men walking in. ‘Wha’d I miss?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Shut up Jackson. Can’t you see they’re having a moment?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Woah, chill out, Yugi. We just got here. Whassup? We never have meetings with all of us here.’</p><p> </p><p>‘It’s about JYP University. We think we found a way in.’ JB started. </p><p> </p><p>‘Oh <em> shit-’ </em></p><p> </p><p>‘But these two kids got messed up with everything. So we're trying to sort things out legally for them, as well as keep our lead on JYP.’ Youngjae finished. </p><p> </p><p>Three people started to speak at once, but then one still standing in the doorway spoke up. ‘I think before anything, we should all introduce ourselves. They’ve already this far into everything, and I think the last thing we need to worry about is being reported. This is probably super overwhelming for them, they're just high schoolers-’</p><p> </p><p>‘-excuse you we are in <em> college-’ </em></p><p> </p><p>‘Ah sorry, uni students. But my point still stands, you both seem younger than anyone else here, and I want to stop calling them ‘‘Thing One’’ and ‘‘Thing Two’’ in my head.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Thank god it wasn't just me. You make a good point.’ Jae spoke up.</p><p> </p><p>‘Don't sound surprised I use my brain, Jae. I do it quite often, unlike yourself.’</p><p> </p><p>Jae sputtered indignantly, and the kid on the beanbag laughed. </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin wasn’t even offended by the thing one thing two comment. <em> Although, who’s one who’s two? </em></p><p> </p><p>‘I’m Seungjin.’ Sad the guy standing in the doorway. ‘Jaebeom and I kinda co-run this whole thing. We’ve tried to give it a name many times, but I like to just call it a mess. That's Jinyoung,’ he pointed to a guy next to him. ‘He’s kind of the second in command.’ </p><p> </p><p>‘Kind of?’ Hyunjin asked.</p><p> </p><p>‘As much as we like to live in the illusion that everything is fine and organized here, it’s just as Seungjin hyung said, a mess.’ Wonpil said. ‘Anyone who has any type of authority here usually uses it as more of a suggestion, and it only really exists for serious situations like this one. None of us believed this was serious until both JB and Seungjin hyung told us to hurry up.’</p><p> </p><p>‘The obnoxious kid in the corner with the glasses is Jae-’</p><p> </p><p>‘Hey!’</p><p> </p><p>‘The sweet precious child in the corner is Dowoon-’</p><p> </p><p>‘-I sense favouritism-’</p><p> </p><p>‘The two devil twins over there are Bambam and Yugeyom-’ They both waved. ‘On the couch is Youngjae, and Brian, and the other two in the doorway are Jackson and Mark. You already seem to know Wonpil.’</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin just nodded. He tried to speak up, to say something, but nothing would come out. So he resorted to shooting Hyunjin a look, and thankfully he caught on. </p><p> </p><p>‘I’m Hyunjin. This is Seungmin. Nice to meet all of you?’</p><p> </p><p>‘So who did it?’</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin looked like someone threw something at him. ‘What?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Who hacked the school?’ Jackson asked again.</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin scowled. Finding his voice, he said, ‘No one <em> hacked the school. </em>A friend of ours got some weird porn virus on Hyunjin’s laptop, and I thought plugging it into a school computer as an external hard disk would solve everything, but it just ate through the school’s infrastructure instead.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Amazing. Is your friend into virus creation or-’</p><p> </p><p>‘No, he just likes really weird porn. I’m certain he got it off one of those strange sites that are illegally hosted. But as far as I know, he knows nothing about computers.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Do you know what the website was?’</p><p> </p><p>‘I stopped going through my friends' browser histories long ago. And I already reimaged Hyunjin’s hard drive. It’s probably lost forever and the site probably is no longer still up.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Can you tell us exactly what happened with the school computer?’ Jaebeom asked.</p><p> </p><p>‘Partly? I’m not sure how everything exploded, but with Hyunjin’s laptop, the stupid virus would, like, self replicate and make itself impossible to delete. It would corrupt its location with invalid characters and mask itself so any scanners I ran wouldn't find it. When I tried salvaging files, they would either change their extension type, suddenly grow half a gig, or say I didn't have significant rights, despite being in admin mode.</p><p> </p><p>‘When I plugged his hard drive into the school computer, I expected the rights of Hyunjin’s student account, or I guess the lack of privileges to nerf the thing to somewhat contain it. But it elevated it’s own privileges through the system and ate away.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Woah, sounds nasty. And it was completely unintentional?’ Jae asked.</p><p> </p><p>‘Yeah. But all the activity that was done through the student account was recorded under Hyunjin’s name, and we only found out a few days ago when the main IT dude sent Hyunjin an email that something happened and he was being blamed for it. We were planning on playing innocent, acting like an external flash drive had somehow been infected without his prior knowledge, Hyunjin’s a dance major, he doesn't know anything about computers-’</p><p> </p><p>‘-hey now-’</p><p> </p><p>‘What? It’s true. You once asked me to fix your blender because you thought it was similar to a laptop. But when Hyunjin went missing and didn't respond to any emails or show up to any classes, it looked really bad on his part.’</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin grimaced. ‘I guess I never thought of it that way.’</p><p> </p><p>‘We didn't either.’ Jinyoung said from the door. ‘And we apologize if we’ve made the situation worse. I hope you can see now that we only had good intentions.’</p><p> </p><p>‘How about this,’ Jaebeom started. ‘You two stay here for the time being, and we’ll see if we can clear it up with the school on our end. We can call in saying we’re Hyunjin’s extended family and there was an emergency or something.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Why would both of us need to stay here then?’ Hyunjin asked. ‘If it’s still my issue, why should Seungmin stay?’</p><p> </p><p>‘There’s a bunch of legal issues the two of you could run into.’ Brian spoke up. ‘I man most the legal team department here-’</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘-bitch you are the entire legal team-’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>‘And if the school really wanted to, they could do a whole number of things. They could just write you off with a warning, or limit and monitor any activity on your student account until you graduate, or they could go as far as expelling the two of you in the name of sabotage and bar you from ever applying to another university and exclude you from most jobs. Depending on how they appeal the claim, there could even be jail time in it for you two, especially if the school learns we're working with you.'</p><p> </p><p>‘We have a sort of sister sorority college group, but they're all good noodles and are going to college to get official degrees in this stuff.’ Jinyoung said.</p><p> </p><p>‘I’m pretty sure the only noodle in that group is Tuzyu.’ Wonpil muttered.</p><p> </p><p>‘I’m also sure if she heard you say that she’d punch you.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Probably. And Jeongyeon would maim you with her motherboard solderer.’</p><p> </p><p>‘They sound terrifying.’ Hyunjin said. </p><p> </p><p>‘They are, but only if you make them angry. But besides the point, I’m sure we could go through them as a last resort for the legal route.’ Brian sighed.</p><p> </p><p>‘Is there any way we could reach out to our friends to let them know we're alright?’ Seungmin asked. ‘I kinda got up and left in the middle of the night. And left my phone and bag in the warehouse.’</p><p> </p><p>Jaebeom opened his mouth to say something but then thought about it more. ‘They’re probably worried and I don't want them to do anything stupid.’ Seungmin added.</p><p> </p><p>‘Like what you did?’ Hyunjin interjected in a moment of pettiness.</p><p> </p><p>‘If you really wanna go down <em> that road </em>and speak about bad decisions-’</p><p> </p><p>‘I don't, thank you very much-’</p><p> </p><p>‘What about the time you-’</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin launched himself at Seungmin, startling nearly everyone in the room. ‘Minnie stop!’</p><p> </p><p>Wonpil grabbed the back of Hyunjin’s shirt, dragged him away from Seungmin and sat him down on the floor next to the couch. ‘Seungmin, stop patronizing your friend. And it would be a good idea.’ He directed to Jaebeom. ‘I’ll even set up the server for them to do so.’</p><p> </p><p>Jaebeom thought about it (or was spaced out for a long period of time) and Jinyoung finally answered with a ‘Fine, but I don't want that server live for more than five minutes.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[redacted] -&gt; chan</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hey chan hyung </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Who is this? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sorry I don’t have a bunch of peoples numbers saved </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It’s Seungmin  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And Hyunjin </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Technically he’s reading over my shoulder but </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Yo </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Whatever prank you’re pulling  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> this isn’t funny </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hyung </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It’s us </em>
</p><p>
  <em>  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Jsjfjejwjsjeieiencnc </em>
</p><p>
  <em> HOLY SHIT </em>
</p><p>
  <em> BRO KIDDO </em>
</p><p>
  <em> MINNIE </em>
</p><p>
  <em> JINNIE </em>
</p><p>
  <em> DO TOU HAVE NAY FICKING IDEA HOW WORRIErD WE ALL ARE </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Yeah yeah </em>
</p><p>
  <em> We know </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I can’t stay on this much longer </em>
</p><p>
  <em> So soosh for a sec and listen </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Well...read </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And you won’t be able to reach us through this again </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But just know we’re safe </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Tell the others  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m sorry for running off </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But both Jinnie and I are good for now </em>
</p><p>
  <em> This is all about the school thing that happened </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Can’t say much here but I’ll fill you in when we come back </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Wheb? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> When will u guys come back </em>
</p><p>
  <em> We’re all worried sick </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hopefully soon </em>
</p><p>
  <em> We met some friends that are helping us along the way to clear everything up </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But whatever you do </em>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Don’t reach out the the school or the police about is</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <em> Plz hyung </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It’s really important </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Are you sure about that? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Yee  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It could put </em>
</p><p>
  <em> My nke friends in danger </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And us </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And you guys if they really wanted to be pricks </em>
</p><p>
  <em> So just </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Vibe </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And deny knowing anything about the school incident </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Well fox it on our end </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Tell everyone we miss them </em>
</p><p>
  <em> We’re safe </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And we’ll back soon </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ish </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And Hyunjin says sorry </em>
</p><p>
  <em> and that he'll buy ereeyone dinner to make up for everything </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin gasped over Seungmin's shoulder. 'I did not! Tell Chan hyung you're a liar!' All Seungmin did was stick his tongue out at him and shove him further away from the monitor.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[redacted] -&gt; Chan</strong>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m glad ur safe  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> U two owe us the full story when you get back </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Of course </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Gtg now </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The servers terminating soon </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Don't try to contact us through this again </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Luv u hyung! </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Oh </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And bambam hyung says hi </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Brats </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Wait bamabm?? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Idk if that makes me feel better or worse </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hola, bon soir, godnatt, whazzup peeps<br/>A quick note on updates and everything:</p><p>Um, how do i put this frankly?<br/>yikes. Oof y0nks RIP in the chat honey u have a big storm comin<br/>Anywoyz<br/>I mainly wrote this mess for myself as a way to low key vent / validate my need of feeling like I was learning something from my computer science courses in cool egg</p><p>I started writing this before woo join fucked off from jyp and ended up posting it 84 years later because imma a lil bitch who’s insecure and loves to procrastinate and saw no issue with leaving him in (i was too lazy to go back and change it)</p><p>If all the allegations against ‘woo join’ are true<br/>uhhhhh<br/>Bitch burn i hope you spend an eternity assembling Ikea furniture </p><p>At the same time, i’ve seen so much contradicting stuff out there, I’m not sure what to believe anymore. There’s so much to this situation, but many parts are missing. And while the accusations are steep and a big yikes, it’s not impossible. I just want something more solid evidence wise other than rumours and accusations before I choose a side.</p><p>That’s it, this makes me sad</p><p>I don’t wanna rewrite this, so I’m gonna leave everything as it is and not remove any characters. I’m sorry if this makes anyone uncomfy, but plz accept me being lazy</p><p>I had another stray kids story in the making, which I will be rewriting as I haven’t posted any of it yet, plus it’s a mess atm (so am I ngl)<br/>Uhhh yeah so that’s that<br/>And I’ll try to update my other story<br/>Soonish<br/>Haaaa...</p><p>Sorry i vanished for like<br/>A month or two<br/>Life’s rough</p><p>On a lighter note I graduated college! 🎉<br/>Yay!<br/>I’m ✨unemployed✨<br/>Yay!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Don't trust Jinyoung to write emails</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Felix - NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN<br/>Seungmin - tech GOD<br/>Changbin - impaitnet<br/>Jisung -  sexy sparkplug<br/>Chan - mother<br/>Woojin - Antiplate Vaxer<br/>Jeongin - fav sun<br/>Hyunjin - dead meat<br/>Minho - yONkS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>District of no return:</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Mother: yo yo</p><p>Important minnie update</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: MINNIE</p><p>HE ALIVE?</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: did you find ihime?</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: minnie :(((((((</p><p> </p><p>mother: he's alive</p><p>And well</p><p>I think</p><p>And he s with hyunjin</p><p>Idk but do any of you guys know bambam??</p><p> </p><p>Antiplate Vaxer: he's that one noodle hyper kid on the soccer team right?</p><p>Wait</p><p>Thats ost the soccer team</p><p> </p><p>mother: yee that d00d</p><p>Seungmin said banbam was part of the group he's with</p><p>And that he's safe</p><p>And that him and jinnie are just wairing fro shit to die down</p><p>Before coming bacl</p><p> </p><p>fav sun: thank god</p><p>I shall be able to sleep tonight</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>==============================</p><p>To: JYP University</p><p>CC: Hwang Hyunjin</p><p>From: Hwang Jinyoung</p><p>RE: Hwang Hyunjin’s absence from classes</p><p> </p><p>Hello, </p><p> </p><p>My name is Hwang Jinyoung, and I’m emailing today on Hwang Hyunjin’s accord. There was an urgent family matter his presence was needed for, therefore we saw it fit to withdraw him temporarily</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> - withdraw him temporarily? Hyung, no sane millennial speaks like some two hundred old boomer ass vampire. Change it to-’ </em></p><p> </p><p>There was an urgent family matter <strike> his presence was needed for, therefore we saw it fit to withdraw him temporarily</strike> that he was needed for, so we pulled him out of classes without considering any further consequences. It has come to my attention that Hyunjin has been recently under investigation for suspicious activity related to his student account</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> -doesn't that look suspicious? What kind of older distant family relative would know what goes on in his student account? A hacker, sure. A distant lawyer or farmer relative? Not in the slightest. Just mention that he said something offhandedly about being concerned and not being able to contact the school.’ </em></p><p> </p><p> <strike>It has come to my attention that Hyunjin has been recently under investigation for suspicious activity related to his student account</strike> I know universities have strict attendance policies, and Hyunjin mentioned that he was needed at the school for something seemingly urgent, so I would firstly like to offer my apologies for pulling him from his adult responsibilities. The place we resided at</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Jisoo crispy christ. Resided at? Ugh, Jinyoung hyung, give me the laptop-’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p><strike>The place we resided at</strike> The gathering took place at a mountain resort, and none of us had any reception and barely any wifi, which made it difficult for anyone to contact the outside world. Please excuse him from any troubles this may have caused, and this email ( <a href="mailto:jyhwang@ahaha.com"> jyhwang@ahaha.com </a>) is the best way to reach me if you have any other questions or concerns regarding this issue.</p><p> </p><p>Thank you in advance,</p><p>Best, </p><p>The bestestest Jinyeongie hyung</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Yugyeom I swear to all the ramen in the snack cabinet spell my name correctly or this whole thing goes to shit-‘ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘I know hyung. Relax, I was just messing with you.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Best,</p><p>
  <strike> The bestestest Jinyeongie hyung </strike>
</p><p>Hwang Jinyoung</p><p> </p><p>===========================</p><p> </p><p>To: Seo Yeji</p><p>From: Hwang Hyunjin</p><p>RE: RE:</p><p> </p><p>Hello Mrs Yeji,</p><p> </p><p>Sorry for my late reply, I was out of town due to family issues and just got back. I know I didn’t leave my studio In an optimal state and will accept any punishment deemed necessary for failing Inspection. I also just saw the notice from IT and I’m working on setting up a new meeting time with them right now. If possible could you let them know I had external conditions to my abstenue? I feel like they would be more inclined to believe you than a student, but If you can’t I completely understand.</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for your concern and all you do!</p><p> </p><p>Best,</p><p>Hwang Hyunjin</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>===========================</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>To: Hwang Hyunjin</p><p>From: Seo Yeji</p><p>RE: RE:</p><p> </p><p>Hi Hyunjin</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for letting me know, and I can definitely reach out to the prickly IT guys you need to schedule a meeting with and let them know what was going on. Just add me in the meeting invite and they’ll be too scared to do anything to you :D</p><p> </p><p>Also, just a heads up for the subject of this email chain, all you did was copy the tag. I’m not sure if you meant to do it, but it was amusing. The subject of an email is meant to be informative and as entertaining as RE:RE: is, it gives me no insight as to what the email is about.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck</p><p>Seo Yeji</p><p>Housing and Student Life coordinator </p><p> </p><p>===========================</p><p><br/>
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</p><p>Breaking News</p><p>JYP University officials arrested due to embezzlement charges</p><p> </p><p>At 08:34 this morning, police stormed the offices of some of JYP UNiversities top officials. The officials were under suspicion of fund embezzlement and loan pilfering, but the investigation was closed with no solid evidence to support these claims. But earlier this morning, an anonymous tip was sent to the police, containing a financial statement from the school showcasing a total of 5,000,000 won that seems to disappear. Included with the billing statement, was a transcript of an email that was exchanged between the alleged alumnus student and financial aid, asking about the missing funds, and financial aid chalked it up to financial credit forwards the students next academic year, despite the student being in their final semester.</p><p> </p><p>The tip justified a warrant to be granted and the investigation to be reopened, despite the strong opposition some of the officers voiced. When the police showed up at the university, they were met with strong opposition despite the warrant and permission from high-ups. Jung Wook, the head of JYP University, was arrested in terms of minor violence against an officer and refutation to cooperate. Others among the arrested were Park Jinyoung, head of the IT department, Joo Jin, head of the Human resources department, and Jung Jihoon, Manager of Financial aid. </p><p> </p><p>While the head and higher-ups of JYP University are detained and awaiting official questioning, Kim Minjun is stepping in as temporary head of the University in order to keep it up and functional for all current students. When asked for an interview on the situation, Kim declined, stating ‘There is much to do and little time to do it.’ Kim also refused to comment on other roles left open throughout the university and what his future plans for university leadership would be.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. How's the thing you totally cant talk about?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>jeongin: Totallt Panickd GAY<br/>Felix -NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN<br/>Seungmin - tech GOD / super seckret hacker d00d<br/>Changbin - impaitnet<br/>Jisung -  sexy sparkplug<br/>Chan - mother<br/>Woojin - Antiplate Vaxer<br/>Hyunjin - dead meat<br/>Minho - yONkS</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <strong>Changbin -&gt; Felix</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Psst</p><p>Fe</p><p>Fe</p><p>Fe</p><p>Fe</p><p>Felix</p><p>Lee felix</p><p>Boi</p><p>Kiddo</p><p>Bro</p><p>Bro ham</p><p>Love</p><p>Fe</p><p>Felix</p><p> </p><p>WHAT</p><p>I'm actually trying to do stuff here</p><p>Not now</p><p> </p><p>O shit</p><p>Uh</p><p>Sorry</p><p>When will u be done</p><p>Wth said stuff</p><p> </p><p>Idk</p><p>A few hours?</p><p> </p><p>Uh ok</p><p>Is it important?</p><p> </p><p>Yes changbin hyung</p><p>It is</p><p>I gotta go</p><p> </p><p>Wow</p><p>Now u drop the hyung</p><p>listen</p><p>We need to talk</p><p>I screwed up</p><p>Badly</p><p>And while there was more preponderant issues at hand t</p><p>he moment of strife we had was all but forgotten </p><p>but alas </p><p>now that all is well with the world I visually perceive we are still at odds with each other</p><p> </p><p>Bro</p><p>I had to read that like 12 times</p><p>Plz temember</p><p>Korea no native me</p><p>What the actual fuck</p><p>Did seungmin type that for you?</p><p>Is he standing over you and suggesting big words?</p><p> </p><p>I have a fnuctional brain thanks</p><p> </p><p>fnuctional </p><p> </p><p>I thought u had more important thing to do than mock me</p><p> </p><p>Technically</p><p>✨I do✨</p><p>And while i'm not quite over it</p><p>I really do have to go</p><p>But ill be don't at 4</p><p>Done</p><p> </p><p>Will u be free to meet after?</p><p> </p><p>I think so</p><p>Like 69%</p><p> </p><p>Thats not an accidental number</p><p> </p><p>Ha</p><p>I've been caught</p><p>But yee</p><p>I'm close to that one coffee shop jisung likes to live at</p><p>Uh fuck what's its called?</p><p>Human bean</p><p>Bean human</p><p>Homosapien caffeine?</p><p> </p><p>Social grounds?</p><p> </p><p>Yeah that one</p><p> </p><p>Yikes</p><p>Not even close</p><p>Yee meet u at 4</p><p>And buy u coffee</p><p>and food</p><p>ad ndnd hope u forgive me</p><p> </p><p>hmmmm</p><p>we shall see</p><p>gtgsys</p><p> </p><p>was that a fuckin key smash or</p><p>got it</p><p>or</p><p>
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  <b>Jeongin -&gt; +82 458 xxxx</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Hey this is jeongin</p><p>From bio</p><p>With mrs kim</p><p>Uhhhh yeah hi</p><p>I’m free to work on the lab whenever</p><p> </p><p>O shit y u up so l8 bro</p><p>And hi 😃</p><p> </p><p>Oh no</p><p>You reply instantly </p><p>Now I’m terrified of you</p><p>Also</p><p>Why are you up</p><p>At the sweet sweet hour of </p><p>4am</p><p> </p><p>Har har I asked u first</p><p> </p><p>I asked you second</p><p> </p><p>Fare</p><p>I was binging this strange anime some d00d off the internet told me to get into but then it was my gateway to a YouTube rabbit hole and now I’m stuck in one of those circles where I’m watching how mnayt shoelace eyelets are made</p><p> </p><p>You type scarily fast</p><p>Has anyone ever told you that?</p><p> </p><p>A few times? I have no car for accirasy and I hate yexting I much rather speak to people face to face but I know that’s not always possible like now</p><p>
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</p><p>Idk if it’s just me</p><p>But I’m imagining you saying the while ass novel you sent in one breath</p><p>And it’s kinda entertaining</p><p> </p><p>I’m glad my incompetence at something can ring a smile to ur cute face</p><p> </p><p>Fdbdj</p><p>Thanks I guess</p><p> </p><p>Bro je cyre</p><p>Waot fuxk</p><p>Ur cute ur literally the embodiment of the 🥺</p><p>I don’t get how anyone is able to say no oo u</p><p>
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  <b>District of no return:</b>
</p><p> </p><p>[Jeongin changed his nickname to Totallt Panickd GAY]</p><p> </p><p>Totallt Panickd GAY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA </p><p>
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  <b>Jeongin -&gt; +82 458 xxxx</b>
</p><p> </p><p>I like to think it’s more my stunning</p><p>Wonderful</p><p>Charming </p><p>personality</p><p>That gets people to do things for me</p><p>Because they like me so much</p><p>But</p><p> </p><p>Hate to burst that bubble but  It’s cuz ur face It’s adorable</p><p>Anyways lab shit</p><p>Uhhhhh I’m not free tomorrow at all well I guess technically that’s today but I’m free all day tomorrow as in tomorrow tomorrow and Saturday</p><p> </p><p>Tomorrow tomorrow works XD </p><p>and technically</p><p>I’m free Saturday </p><p>but idk how much school work </p><p>I’m gonna wanna do</p><p> on a weekend</p><p> </p><p>Oh yeah  no uh </p><p>I wanna get the lab done entirely tomorrow tomorrow so we can go in a date Saturday </p><p>Or like nah?</p><p>
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  <b>District of no return: </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Totallt Panickd GAY: KEFBSIAHRNFIXNCNXBXBXMSOWNRMCJSNRKISJFNTNDNFHFBFBFRHRTYRUAG</p><p>
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  <b>Jeongin -&gt; +82 458 xxxx</b>
</p><p> </p><p>YOur very forward</p><p> </p><p>U say it like itz a bad thing</p><p> </p><p>Nope</p><p>Not a bad thing</p><p>Not at all</p><p>And I think a Saturday date with you sounds wonderful</p><p>
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  <b>District of no return: </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Totallt Panickd GAY: JESUSCHRIST I SOUND SO STUPID</p><p>
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  <b>Jeongin -&gt; +82 458 xxxx</b>
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</p><p>Y Thank thank i've been told I’m a delight</p><p>U aite with working out everything tomorrow tomorrow like date wise because o shit it’s nearly 6 am and I have a class at 9 and I’m too frazzled and happy to think rn???</p><p> </p><p>11/10</p><p>Hopefully ur able to sleep my dude</p><p>Good night</p><p> </p><p>Good morning! 😘</p><p> </p><p>[<em> Jeongin set the nickname to Yedam] </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Jeongin changed the nickname to Yedaaaaaam] </em>
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  <em> [Jeongin changed the nickname to Yeeeeeeedam🧡] </em>
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</p><p><b>District of no return</b>:</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: I know ur usually the first kiddo awake jeongin</p><p>But what I’m the fresh hell are you jake the dog screaching about at 4 am?????</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: what the fuck is a jake the dog s rest his</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: feast your eyes on prime memeage</p><p>And be educated</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>mother: I’m still confused</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: that’s because your old</p><p> </p><p>yONKS: now now respect ur elders </p><p>Kiddo</p><p> </p><p>mother: I’m also amazed at how many of yous are awake and semi functioning before 8 am</p><p> </p><p>yONKS: bold of you to assuming I’m ever fully functioning</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: I thought that was your porn mode</p><p> </p><p>yONKS: I know where u sleep</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: AHAHA</p><p>WAS NICE KNOWING U GUYS</p><p>TELL CHANGBEAN IT WAS ME WHO HID GYU FOR LIKE A MINTH AND BLAMED HYUNJIN</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: YOU WHAT</p><p>if Minho doesn't end u I will</p><p> </p><p>mother: Jisung u realise he’s gonna read that</p><p>Oh good morning bin</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: why is Changbin yelling to murder sungie</p><p>Never mind</p><p>I c said the blind man</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: to the deaf man </p><p>on the phone </p><p> </p><p>yONKS: this is how I know something s wrong</p><p>Seungmin s willingly joking with us </p><p>And they contain no death threats</p><p> </p><p>tech GOD: I’ve used my death threat quota up for the week</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: I do!</p><p>How’s the new job going??</p><p> </p><p>[Felix changed Seungmin's nickname to super seckret hacker d00d]</p><p> </p><p>super seckret hacker d00d: technically it’s classified</p><p>But also </p><p>technically</p><p>If I tell u guys</p><p>In this fingerprint based reverse encrypted letter sealing chat</p><p>No one will know</p><p> </p><p>yONKS: no clue what any of that meant </p><p>But I’m proud o u</p><p>Look at mon bb</p><p>Threatening people with their lives n shit</p><p> </p><p>mother: they grow up so fast</p><p> </p><p>super seckret hacker d00d: it’s going pretty good</p><p>Everyone’s super nice</p><p>Except When they’re pissed off at each other</p><p>But Yee </p><p>Chan hyung i have no clue how you can stand bam bam for more then a few minutes at a time</p><p>Him paired with yugyeom hyung and I can’t be in the same room as them</p><p>It’s like if you took the energy of felix and jisung</p><p>But gave them the heart eyes from Minho and sungie</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: can someone send help</p><p>To the Chang sung dorm</p><p>I regret spending the night </p><p> </p><p>mother: yeah I’ll drag Minho over there in a se </p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: like</p><p>Idk how these two have lived together for over half of their lives</p><p>I’m actually scared they either gonna kill each other or start some sort of calamity </p><p>THE DORM NEOGHBORS JUST EVACUATED I'M DJDNDNDNDNDJSKAONXNFNC</p><p>WERE GONNA GET MIRDERED BY THE RA</p><p>oh wait</p><p> </p><p>mother: well the big bad ra is heading over rn</p><p> </p><p>super seckret hacker d00d: oof</p><p> </p><p>Totallt Panickd GAY: Sorry just got of class</p><p>Yeah yeah rip Changbin and jisung we always known  they’d die by each other </p><p>BUT I GOT A DATE BITCHES</p><p> </p><p>[<em> Jeongin announced: BUT I GOT A DATE BITCHES] </em></p><p> </p><p>Totallt Panickd GAY: that is all</p><p>Thank your for listening to my psa</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: WAIT U CAN'T KUSY DROP THAT AND DISAPPEAR</p><p>SEUNGMIN AUICK DO A BACKGROUND CHECK ON MYSTERY GUY</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: SEUNGMIN DO  A BACKEOUND CHACK ON EVERYONE JEONGIN HANGS OUT WJTH</p><p> </p><p>super seckret hacker d00d: well there’s this one pretty sketchy dude </p><p> </p><p>Totallt Panickd GAY: Seungmin hyuuuhhhuuung plz orz nuuuuuu leave him beeee 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: bitch who </p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: spill</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: it’s a miracle they fucking stopped</p><p> </p><p>super seckret hacker d00d: there’s this guy</p><p>Lee Minho??</p><p>He’s pretty fucking sketchy</p><p>Stay away from that guy</p><p>And don’t let him near any of your electronics</p><p> </p><p>Totallt Panickd GAY: Minnie ur my fav hyung ily</p><p> </p><p>yONKS: ONE TIME</p><p>AND IT WAS LIKE FOUR MONTHS AGO</p><p> </p><p>super seckret hacker d00d: two and a half</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet: he’s never gonna let u live that down</p><p>And neither is Hyunjin</p><p>Who I best is still sleeping and salty</p><p> </p><p>super seckret hacker d00d: yeah he’s still asleep</p><p>He’s never aw</p><p>Ake before noon if he doesn't have to be</p><p> </p><p>yONKS: how domestic</p><p> </p><p>super seckret hacker d00d: u can shut that shit up </p><p> </p><p>yONKS: but Minnie</p><p>I have ✨receipts✨</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin: and I have 🔥a text file of your exported browser history😌🔥</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: oooooo</p><p>We can see how well I’ve been keeping to your no more porn promise</p><p> </p><p>yONKS: I suddenly lobe and respect sunmingmin</p><p> </p><p>NO I WILL NOT ISLTREN: sus</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: very sus</p><p> </p><p>Totallt Panickd GAY: 😒</p><p> </p><p>dead meat: wow congrats jeongin</p><p>Fuck u Jisung</p><p>Told u I didn’t do it Changbin</p><p>Love u Minnie</p><p>Good night</p><p> </p><p>mother: a Hyunjin sighting!</p><p>Before 10 am!</p><p> </p><p>super seckret hacker d00d: don't get too excited</p><p>He answered</p><p>Muted his phone</p><p>Chucked across the room</p><p>And went back to bed</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet : partial victories I guess</p><p> </p><p>mother: speaking of partial victories 😒</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet : I didn’t ask</p><p>
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  <b>Changbin -&gt; Chan</b>
</p><p> </p><p>I’m sending this here because I don’t really want everyone to see it</p><p>But yeah we worked stuff out</p><p>And yeah we kinda have something going ??? I think???</p><p>But we’re gonna take t really slowly</p><p>I have no idea what I’m doing and Felix is just scared that either of us will end up hurt</p><p>But we’re getting somehwree</p><p>Slowly</p><p>But we’re doing it</p><p>Wait</p><p>That was bad terminology</p><p> </p><p>XD i know what u meant</p><p>And I’m glad things are starting to work out between you two</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>District of no return:</b>
</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: fuxk fine Minho an I kinda broke it off</p><p> </p><p>mother: that’s not what I meant by that statement but I’m glad u felt the need to share with the class</p><p> </p><p>impaitnet : whaot y</p><p> </p><p>Totallt Panickd GAY: I thought you guys got everything worked out and we’re gonna become the next married couple after chan and woo join</p><p>I thought They were like the McDonald’s cheeseburger of relationship sandwiches </p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: eh yeah I kinda thought so too</p><p> </p><p>yONKS: Jisungie</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: it’s fine now</p><p>While I guess it still kinda stings I can at least admit it now</p><p>We had a thing</p><p>But it wasn’t good for either of us</p><p>Monhonhyung didbt want feelings</p><p>I had feelings but didn’t know what to do with them</p><p>And overall we were an unhealthy mess</p><p> </p><p>yONKS: hey it’s my faut too </p><p>I wasn’t sure how others would react</p><p>So I was insistent we kept it to ourselves even though Jisung asked me multiple times to tell someone</p><p>So really it was ourselves that lead to self   destruction</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: Yee</p><p>We’ve both agreed to have each other some space and time and the    state over again as just friends</p><p>And stri ctly just friends</p><p>And if we do that well</p><p>We’re gonna see if we wanna move forward with shit</p><p>But like</p><p>Properly this time</p><p> </p><p>super seckret hacker d00d: this is surprisingly mature for both of you</p><p>I’m proud</p><p> </p><p>mother: me tooooo</p><p>I’m proud of both of you</p><p>I know what shit ain’t easy</p><p>But always know we’re all here </p><p>And we’ll support any descension you make as long as it’s not a stupid ine</p><p> </p><p>sexy sparkplug: ooph</p><p>Felt the love and the passion aggression</p><p>But thanks guys</p><p>My anxiety suddenly has less to fuel it</p><p> </p><p>yONKS: it means a lot</p><p>Truly</p><p>Ionia I can be an ungrateful thankless brat a lot of the times</p><p>But I really do appreciate all of you</p><p>Even u Hyunjin</p><p> </p><p>super seckret hacker d00d: he says fuck you too</p><p> </p><p>yONKS: 😘</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>‘What are you smiling at?’ Hyunjin grumbled, clearly only half awake. </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin couldn’t help smile more. Even half-asleep with messy hair and dried drool on his face, Hyunjin was still painfully pretty. ‘Nothing important, just Minho hyung being stupid.’</p><p> </p><p>‘So if I’m stupid, you’ll smile at me?’</p><p> </p><p>‘You’re already always stupid.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Then why aren't you smiling?’ Hyunjin pouted harder.</p><p> </p><p>‘I am!’</p><p> </p><p>‘Mmmm. What time is it?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Like, 10 am.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Dear god, why are you awake at the actual ass crack of dawn?’ Hyunjin asked, putting his face straight into his pillow.</p><p> </p><p>‘Hyunjin, it’s practically noon. Get up.’</p><p> </p><p>‘No.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Hyunjinnnnnnnnnnnnie!’</p><p> </p><p>‘I need incentive.’ Hyunjin muttered.  </p><p> </p><p>Seungmin scoffed. ‘Incentive? I’ll give you incentive!’ He grabbed Hyunjin's comforter, yanked it off the bed, and tackled the drowsy male.</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin made a dying cat noise. ‘This is not what I meant by incentive!’ </p><p> </p><p>‘But it got you up, didn't it?’</p><p> </p><p>All Hyunjin did was grumble in response. ‘It’s a Friday! I don't have classes today! I don't need to be awake this early.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Fine! I was gonna, ya know, try and plan like a date or something on one of my days off. But if you’re so insistent on <em> sleeping in </em>-’</p><p> </p><p>‘No! I’m getting up! I'm awake. I’ll go change.’ Hyunjin scampered off to the bathroom to get ready, making Seungmin smile to himself. Threatening Hyunjin with a date always worked.</p><p> </p><p>Fifteen minutes later, Hyunjin emerged from the bathroom looking like he had just stepped on the cover of a magazine, and Seungmin almost had to pinch himself to reassure he was real. </p><p> </p><p>‘I’m ready. Where are we going? Did I overdress? Have you seen my phone? I kinda don't wanna change, but if we're gonna-’</p><p> </p><p>‘You’re perfect Jinnie. And you tossed your phone at the corner of your room when it wouldn't stop buzzing.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Ah, right. Why is everyone in our friend group a morning person? This is why I live alone, so no one wakes me up too early.’ Hyunjin found his phone on top of a pile of clothes in the corner of his studio and started scrolling through the conversation he had yet to read. ‘Wait, what the fuck? Jisung and Minho were actually a thing? But now they're not?’</p><p> </p><p>‘Something like that.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Oh man, now I feel bad about all the times I used to give Sungie shit for liking Minho hyung.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Think about it this way. It’s all in the past, and they have their shit worked out now more than before.’</p><p> </p><p>'But the real question, is what's gonna happen with that bet Changbin hyung and Jeongin made?'</p><p> </p><p>'I guess neither of them win.' Seungmin sighed. 'Plus, those things only really go though if the couple gets and stays together. It sounds like Jisung and Minho hyung were never truly 'together'. They just...did stuff.'</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin snorted. 'They had sex, Minnie.'</p><p> </p><p>'Yeah...that.' Seungmin suddenly found it hard to look Hyunjin in the eyes. They had barely established the fact that they were dating. The thought of doing anything...anything remotely more intimate than basking in each other presents sent Seungmin's head reeling. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> One step at a time.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin surprised Seungmin by hugging him from behind, breaking him out of his thoughts. 'You're so cute, don't ever change, Minnie'. He quickly kissed Seungmin on the cheek, and Seungmin felt like his face was going to melt off. 'Where we going?'</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin started to walk towards the door, but Seungmin caught him by the arm and dragged him back so their faces were inches from each other. This seemed much easier in movies. ‘Can I...uhh...’</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin just smiled. ‘You don't even need to ask.’</p><p> </p><p>It was awkward at first, kissing Hyunjin. Hyunjin seemed to know what he was doing, while Seungmin had only ever kissed his mother goodnight. Where did he put his hands? Should he move, or let Hyunjin do all the work? Did he have to close his eyes?</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin pulled back after a second. ‘Relax, Min. I’ll only bite if you like it.’</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin spluttered at the comment, brain short-circuiting, but Hyunjin took advantage of his brain malfunction and kissed him again. It took a few seconds, but Seungmin started to relax and melt into Hyunjin’s hold. He wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him even closer until there was nothing left between the two of them. Hyunjin bit on Seungmin’s bottom lip, making him gaps and Hyunjin shoved his tongue in-</p><p> </p><p>The moment was interrupted with the sound of a camera going off.</p><p> </p><p>‘Seungie you idiot, mute your <em> goddamn camera and they won't-’ </em></p><p> </p><p>‘Bitch, they’ll know we're here now.’</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin and Hyunjin sprung apart, both of their faces red, Seungmin’s face redder than Hyunjin’s. </p><p> </p><p>After the initial embarrassment wore off, ‘How the <em> fuck </em> did you get in my studio!?’ Hyunjin ran around, trying to strangle Jisung.</p><p> </p><p>‘Bro, it’s no secret your door code is Seungmin’s birthday- oops, was that a secret? Let’s go, Felix!’</p><p> </p><p>Felix just stared at Jisung as he ran out the door. ‘Technically, he thought hiding here from Changbin would be a good idea, but well, uhhh, sorry we interrupted! As you were.’ He winked at the couple and shut the door behind him.</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin went from pink to deep red. ‘Ha...haHAHA, very funny. Date. You said we were going on a date, lets go-’</p><p> </p><p>‘So how long has your code been my birthday? You somehow forget about your own, but you remember mine enough to make it a passcode, which is bad convention by the way.’</p><p> </p><p>‘Uhh, it’s- it’s not! Your birthday! It’s uhh, random numbers. Yup, completely random.’</p><p> </p><p>‘I can go check that right now-’</p><p> </p><p>‘No! Uh, no, it's fine. Yeah, it's- it's your birthday. It was the first thing that came to mind when they told me the studios had door codes instead of keys. So, uhhh, yeah. But! Date, yeah, let's go. No more nosy friends, right?’ With that, Hyunjin rushed out the door.</p><p> </p><p>Seungmin could only smile. Hyunjin, in his rush to get out the door and be spared of anymore embarrassment, had even left his phone behind. He really was dating the biggest idiot.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i wanna thank everyone who read this far and endured this whole mess of absolute chaos<br/>ssrsly, thank m8ys<br/>i really appreciate each and erryone of u guys<br/>stay safe kiddos !</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Felix AND Seungmin in the kitchen? Sounds like a disaster</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a short one-shot type thing that’s completely irrelevant to the plot (and pure self-indulgence) but I thought it was cute so uuh<br/>Enjoy</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Is this thing on? There are too many lights to look at. What happened to the old cameras that had like two buttons?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Shut up Bean. It’s working and streaming. We’re live! Hi guys! Welcome back to Felix and co. Today’s gonna be another disaster in the kitchen with everyone’s favourite, Seungmin! Wooo!’ Felix clapped vigorously and started at Seungmin off-screen, motioning for him to join his set up. ‘How does it feel to be the most requested thing on my stream, Minnie?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seungmin snorted. ‘Considering a whole five people watch it, nothing.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Minnie!’ Felix whined. ‘You're supposed to be encouraging!’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Touched. Loved, warmed to the core-‘</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Stop being sarcastic, asshole. Standing next to the little star is a privilege.’ Changbin muttered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Felix’s eyes shined. Seungmin gagged. ‘You get up here then. I’ll expose your SoundCloud to the world.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘I take it back, you’re a wonderful person Seungmin.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘You can have your fame later Binnie. One day I’ll get my wonderful cameraman to show us his face!’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘But normally Hyunjin-‘</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Binnie, cameramen don't speak.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Right, sorry.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Anyways, today we’re gonna try and make macaroons-‘</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘This is definitely gonna be a disaster.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Felix glared at Changbin to get him to be quiet. ‘And this is why Hyunjin is my main camera guy.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Well, if you're so insistent...’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Nope, you are here to suffer, and then clean the kitchen when we’re done. So make an extra big mess Minnie.’ Felix turned back to the camera, smiling. ‘Anyways, macaroons! They’re a pain, and they’re a mess, and we’re gonna botch them! Ingredients...are somewhere. Binnie, be a doll and fetch these for me?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Like from the store? Or from the fridge?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Felix shrugged. ‘I think we have everything.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Your closer to the fridge than I am! Or make Seungmin do it.’ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Your Soundcloud-‘ Seungmin reminded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Ugh, fine. Can I turn the camera off?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Nope! What would the point of streaming this be then, stupid? While you're grabbing stuff, we’ll read comments.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The comments were the scariest parts of Felix’s streams. Since basically nothing was filtered, there was everything from bad jokes to interesting questions to slurs to sexual innuendos and thirsty comments. Most of those were directed at Changbin's arms from him straining to get down some of the heavier ingredients in the background. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Oh, and Binnie, measure them out for me as well please.’ Felix called over his shoulder followed by more groaning from Changbin. ‘Changbin is my personal slave today, which is why he’s doing all of this. Why? Mmmm, you could say he lost a bet. What was the bet? That’s for me to know and for you to never find out.’ He winked at the camera. How Felix was so good at crowd control was something Seungmin would never learn. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Most of the comments that scrolled past were too fast for Seungmin to read, but one caught his attention. ‘Hey Felix, let’s just make Changbin make the macaroons. They’ll probably actually turn out that way too.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Seungmin, you're a genius.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘I can’t do that!’ Changbin shouted from the back of the kitchen. ‘I told Chan hyung and Ji that I'd help with mixing later today.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Well, I guess you’ll just have to reschedule. I’ll tell them myself.’ Felix pulled out his phone and started typing something to Chan. Why was Seungmin known as the evil one when Felix existed? ‘Now grab a bowl and add five egg whites.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Five?!’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Yes, Binnie. Five.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘I thought these were cookies, not goddamn omelets.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Shush, they’re neither. You’re making me macaroons. Just the whites! Save the yellows-‘</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘The yolks? How do you now know what an egg yolk is?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘-in a- shut up! I forgot what they were called! The </span>
  <em>
    <span>yolks, </span>
  </em>
  <span>save them in a separate bowl.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Beat until stiff peaks.’ Changbin read. ‘Where’s the mixer?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Oh no, you don’t. You get to do it by hand.’ Felix handed him a whisk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘But that’ll take forever!’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Start now then.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rest of the stream was Felix ordering Changbin around with instructions on how to make macaroons, Seungmin slowly edging out of the screen and finding himself behind the camera.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Changbin, they wanna see your arms straining as you mix. Take your shirt off.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘That’s just harassment. Seungmin, am I within my rights to sue him?’ Changbin pointed the whisk at Felix, and because the egg whites went quite yet at peak stiffness, some of the white stuff flew onto Felix’s cheek and near his ear, causing him to screech. Seungmin had never heard anything like it, it was the noise a four-year-old girl would make if she was being run over by an eighteen-wheeler.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Many arguments and one mini flour fight later, the cookie part of the macaroons were cooling on the counter and the filling was being shoved in a piping bag. Changbin was now noticeably sweaty, flour and something orange coating his face and hair, Felix in no better shape.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Felix, you said you were gonna bake macaroons, not wear them.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Be quiet, heathen. At least I had some part in the making of the pastries and didn’t hide behind the camera.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Ah, I didn't realize yelling instructions at someone and throwing flour counted as baking. My mistake.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Felix opened his mouth to say something else to Seungmin but was cut off when Changbin shoved a falling apart macaroon into it. ‘Stop fucking bickering and eat your not really baking. My baking. Enjoy my baking.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Felix’s eyes went wide. ‘These are actually pretty good. We did a good job, Bin.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Excuse you. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>did a fantastic job. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You </span>
  </em>
  <span>did nothing but make a mess. I’m sure all five people who are watching and Jisung can attest. Now, I really gotta go run to the studio. Have fun cleaning.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Changbin tried to skirt around Felix to the other side of the table that separated the kitchen from the camera, but Felix blocked his way. ‘Not so fast. You helped make this mess, so it's only fair you help clean it up. Plus, you can't leave without trying your own baking. That's just blasphemy.’ He shoved another macaroon in his mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Changbin just stared at the other male, then without any preamble, grabbed Felix by the face and shoved his tongue down his throat, making Felix choke half in surprise, half on his macaroon. ‘You’re right, they're pretty good, kinda sweet for me. You forced me into this mess, and I really gotta run.’ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Seo Changbin.’ Seungmin interrupted, glaring. ‘That was not cute in the slightest. I am disgusted.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All Changbin did was shoot Seungmin a smile. ‘Bye, Felix! See ya, Seungmin.’ Then ran off, face very red.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘AGK! You! Get back here- I’m, this, wha- what, yuh- your-’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘And you can do anything?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘AHHHHHH! Seungmin, Bin, he- he just, I’ve been trying- I- He’s so- AHHHHHH!’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Me too, Felix, me too. Should I cut the stream?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘IT’S STILL STREAMING?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Well, you never told me to turn it off.’ Seungmin shrugged. Felix seemed to have an aneurysm at that very moment. If people could speak in key smashes, Felix would be doing just that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Got it. I turned the stream off, I think. Do I have to do anything else? If you want help cleaning up, I can see what Hyunjin and Jeongin are doing.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘I’m still mad at him!’ Felix shouted, pointing in the direction Changbin had run off a good three minutes ago. ‘Do you know how long it took to get him to kiss me?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Why would you want him to kiss you if you were mad at him?’ Seungmin asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘I’m mad because he didn't do it sooner!’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘But I thought you were mad at him before that?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘I am!’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘You are? Or was?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ARGH! I don't know!’ Felix stomped off further into the house, leaving Seungmin alone in the kitchen with the camera he actually never turned off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘I'm confused. Felix? Lixie? Lix?’ He sighed. ‘I’m convinced you did this on purpose to force me to clean the kitchen. I’m putting this on your tab.’</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Sorry I’m late!’ Changbin said, slightly out of breath from running to the studio. ‘I got pulled into a clever scheme via Felix and Seungmin and-’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Hey, Bin.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Changbin stopped. Jisung was being too calm about him being late, something was up. ‘I’m almost scared to ask what.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chan looked like he was trying hard not to laugh. ‘Jisung and I avidly watch Felix’s streams.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah, and? I do too. It makes good background noise.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Felix is streaming right now, actually. Well, it’s turned into Seungmin cleaning his kitchen while alternating between singing Gugudan and muttering death threats. I don't think he knows how to work a camcorder very well, despite being able to fix them. We saw the whole reason why you’re late.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The realization hit Changbin halfway through Jisung’s spiel. ‘Aw, fuck.’</span>
</p>
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